UPJOKE

So Ugly Jokes

Your momma so ugly…

She went into a haunted house and came out with a job application

Yo mama so ugly

When she sits on her phone, it unlocks.

You're so ugly that when you were born....

Your mother said "what a little treasure."
Your father replied "yeah let's bury it."

Yo Mama is so ugly

If Bill Cosby found her unconscious he’d call the paramedics

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your Momma so ugly...

When she masturbates, its considered a hate crime.

Yo mamma so ugly

Your dad takes her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!

„Honey, I feel so ugly and fat, I really need a compliment from you...“

„Babe, your observation skills are really good.“

Your mama is so ugly….

Her passport photo says This Page Left Intentionaly Blank.

Yo Momma is so ugly

The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break

Why was the data visualization guy's graph so ugly?

Because he lost the plot.

Yo mama so ugly…

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!

I was so ugly as a child

Had to tie a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.

You’re so ugly…

That when your mom gave birth to you, she got a ticket for littering.

Yo mamas so ugly

Her portraits hang themselves

Your mothers' so ugly

When she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

Yo mama so ugly…

Even Ripley couldn’t believe it.

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Yo momma so ugly...

She has to roofie her dildo

Your mama so ugly

Your mama so ugly she can scare Cujoh off a meat truck

Yo mamma so ugly...

she couldn't even get The Hulk to smash!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your mama so ugly

Her blowjobs count as anal

Your mom is so ugly...

That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask

Yo momma is so ugly

Your dad wakes up with morning wouldn’t

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You are so ugly...

you extort money from people by threatening to release YOUR sex tape.

Your face is so ugly

when your momma dropped you off to school she got a littering fine

Your family is so ugly...

...your photo albums only contain the negatives

You're so ugly...

You're so ugly that when you were told 'you have a face only a mother could love' your Mum sued them for defamation of character.

Yo mamma so ugly

She looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

You're so ugly that I'm going to have to stop drinking

just in case I start seeing two of you...

​

I'm so ugly...

I'm so ugly that when I entered my dog in an ugly dog contest, they gave me the ribbon and a scratch behind the ear!

Yo mama is so ugly

Yo mama is so ugly she tried to enter an ugly contest, but they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Camouflage clothing is so ugly...

It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it.

Yo momma so ugly...

We’re gonna lie to her that the pandemic isn’t over so she can keep her mask on.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was young,

her mama left her outside a store and got fined for littering.

Yo mama so ugly...

The beggar gave her money to get a surgery.

Yo Momma so ugly...

Scorpion from Mortal Kombat be like "Stay over there."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Your momma so ugly

when she was giving blowjobs, everyone though it was anal.

My wife is so ugly...

she walked past the walrus enclosure at Sea World, and her iPhone X unlocked itself.

Yo mamma so ugly

The CDC recommends she continue to wear a mask after the pandemic is over.

Your mom is so ugly that. . . .

The entire world created a virulent strain of Coronavirus just so she'd wear a mask.

And she's so dumb, she thinks that masks aren't effective.

Born so ugly

The proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

You’re momma so ugly

That when bob the builder see her he says I can’t fix that

Your mama so ugly...

Trump supporters don't get offended when she leaves her mask on!

Yo momma is so ugly

That your father no longer finds her attractive and I am seriously concerned about the health of their marriage.

Yo Mamma’s so ugly...

She’s been inspiring others to practice social distancing her whole life!

Yo momma is so ugly.....

Walmart started requiring her to wear a face mask 10 years before they even heard of coronavirus.

The wife looks at herself in the mirror and complain to her husband: “I am so ugly and wrinkle and fat. Do I even have any good traits?”

The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: “Your eyesight is excellent darling”

When i was young, i was so ugly

even the priest told me we could be just friends.

Yo mama's so ugly

She took off her facemask during quarantine and was arrested for indecent exposure

Your mama is so ugly

She fell into a gorilla exhibit and got shot.

Yo mama so ugly...

when the Kool-Aid man busted through her wall, he said "OH NOOOOOOOOO!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo mama so ugly that when she posted nudes to 4chan

The website’s name changed to mis4chan

I was so ugly as a baby

That when my mother breastfed me, she used to close her eyes and think of other babies.

When I was born I was so ugly...

the doctor slapped my mother.

\- Rodney Dangerfield

Your girlfriend's so ugly

She made Stevie Wonder flinch

Yo mama is so ugly...

The neighbours from across the street break in to her house to close the curtains

Your mom is so ugly...

They pay her at strip clubs to put her clothes on.

You’re so ugly...

You are the reason Star Wars takes place in a galaxy far far away!

My son (now 11) came up with this and it cracks me up every time.

I finally figured out why I look so ugly in all my pictures

It's my face

Why Is Iron (II) Oxide So Ugly?

Because it's FeO.

Yo mama so ugly

When she opens her front door on Halloween the kids give her candy.

Your girlfriend is so ugly

When she walks by a construction zone , workers get back to work

Yo Mama So Ugly

She makes blind children cry!

Yo mamma so ugly...

my dog closes his eyes while humping her leg.

Yo mama so ugly

Her memory foam wishes it could forget,

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am so ugly that..

I have been working as an altar boy for more than a year, and I am still a virgin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your mamma is so ugly Santa came down the chimney and said

Ho Ho Holy shit

Why was Darth Vader so ugly?

Because he had sithilis.

I'am So Ugly.....

That when my dog humps my leg, he closest his eyes and looks away.

Yo momma so ugly...

...she tried to use FaceId on her iPhone and bricked it.

Ur mum is so ugly

That hello kitty said goodbye

Yo momma so ugly

Jesus saw her and stopped believing in God

I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party...

and she woke up with more clothes on.

(Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke)

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