UPJOKE

So Tired Jokes

Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired?

Because they're working around the clock.

WHY I AM SO TIRED

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.
Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work...

I'm so tired of hearing Law and Order jokes.

They've all been done done.

You know why everyone is so tired today?

Because we just finished a 31 day March!

Why was the computer so tired when it got home?

Because it had a hard drive

I’m so tired of jokes about chinese people

There’s like a billion of them and they’re all the same

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so tired of all these "historically" based movies and books that change the characters' skin color to pander to the masses

Like, what's up with this Jesus being white bullshit.

Whew, I’m so tired...

I could be an 18 Wheeler

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hard working man puts in overtime all week and is so tired all he wants to do for the weekend is sleep.

He comes home friday and plops down on the couch and starts to doze off. His wife comes in, nudges him and says, "Honey my car won't start, will you take a look at it ?" The husband says, "Who do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench ? Take my truck."

He's sound asleep Saturday morning when his wife c...

Why were the Avengers so tired after saving New York?

They were up all night to get Loki.

I’m so tired of babysitting my mom’s grandkids

Disclosure: Yes they’re mine but they like her more

So tired of all these restrictions...

I'm getting so tired of all these quarantine-related restrictions.

For example, I just found out today that when I'm in public the governor is requiring me to wear pants.

The Kit Kat manufacturer was so tired from working all day.

He just needed a break

I’m so tired of yo mama jokes...

...So I decided to focus on yo daddy instead.
Yo daddy’s so stupid. So stupid he married yo mama.

I'm so tired of my phone carrier...

I had the Wi-Fi hotspot on and I was connected from my laptop, the signal was awful and I ran out of data

I tell you what, I'm at the end of my tether...

I'm so tired of seeing cheesy puns on reddit all the time...

I swiss they would just stop already.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so tired of women making we wear a mask during sex

And now with this pandemic I have to keep it on after, too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit should add separate NSFW tags for gore and porn

I'm so tired of my boners being ruined by these hot ladies.

I'm so tired of rascist jokes. They all start out the same.

With a look over your shoulder.

Why did the spaghetti say she was so tired?

because is was pasta bed time

Why was the Native American so tired?

Because he'd been up all night building ATP.

I'm so tired of German Sausage jokes.

They're the wurst.

Do you know why keyboards are always so tired?

Coz they have two shifts.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

I'm so tired of people saying Hillary sucks...

She doesn't. Just ask Bill and Monica.

I'm so tired from eating mayonnaise all day

I'm eggsauceded

I'm so tired of hearing people complain about being hung over.

Just stop your wining.

I am so tired I need to take a sodium phosphide

A NaP

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you.

Husband: That's not true! Tell me one time I talked about dinosaurs

Wife: .......

Husband: (whispering) *She was silent, like the 'P' in Pterodactyls*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to go to church as a kid. I got so tired of having to kneel, and sit and stand-up all the time.

I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me.

A man and a woman are talking in the office.

The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off."

The woman replies: "Don't worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch me."

The woman proceeds to hang from a pipe.

Suddenly, the boss walks in a says: "What in the world are you doing?"

The woman r...

Finally quit my job at the lumber yard

I was so tired of doing all of the work because nobody else wood.

I flew the love of my life to the mountains this weekend. I rode her for hours. I had never rode her so hard! In fact I was so tired I decided to stay the night and ended up riding her some more in the morning. I don't think I have ever had such an amazing time.

My GF hates when I talk about my bike trips with her parents.

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