UPJOKE

Why was Stalin's computer so slow?

It was on a five year plan

Why are old computers so slow?

Because they do things a bit at a time.

A policeman stops a car that is going very slowly on the I40 highway, and says to the driver "Why are you going so slow? You're holding up traffic!"

"Well," says the man, "the signs say I40."

"That's the road number," says the policeman, "not the speed limit."

Then he notices a woman in the back seat, trembling all over. "Is your passenger all right, sir?" he asks.

"Don't worry officer," says the man, "my wife is always lik...

Why is development in airplane engineering so slow?

Everyone is afraid to make a ground breaking design.

Why is the SBA so slow at processing EIDL loans?

You try working in the dark and see how much you get accomplished.

Yo mama so slow...

it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Internet Explorer is so slow in catching up that...

Microsoft Edge had to go back in time to tell Internet Explorer that it has been replaced

Yo' mama so slow...

...it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes

Simba was moving so slow

until I told him to Mufasa

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes a long time for them to swallow their pride.

Why was the motorcycle going so slow?

Because it was two tired!

Internet Explorer is so slow

If this video takes any longer, the girl in it will be a legal age

Why are Americans so slow to celebrate 07/04?

I mean, it was the 7th of April months ago...

Why is Internet Explorer so slow?

Because it’s chromatose.

Why are cars in Russia so slow?

Because they are always stalin.

A snail was tired of always being so slow...

... So he got a really fast car, and had a big 'S' painted on each side of it.

Every time someone saw him zipping around in his car, they would say, "Hey, look at that S-car go!"

My friend at work complained the IT department is so slow, every time she creates a ticket it takes them a month to get to it.

I told her if you wanna get a message to IT, you've got to post it on reddit.

Two polar bear bros are chilling out on Greenland

They are getting a bit bored. But then suddenly one of them have an idea:

Polar bear 1 flicks the ear of Polar bear 2 and runs away while yelling: "you're too slow, you can't catch me!"

Polar bear 2 gets annoyed and starts running after Polar bear 1.

Polar bear 1 keeps running a...

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Golfing

An Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are golfing. There is a group ahead of them moving really slow. The course manager stops by and asks if everything is alright. They ask why the group ahead of them is so slow. He explains that it is a blind group of firefighters that lost their sight putting out ...

A man and his mother

A man and his mother were going away for a week to see extended family. The mother was driving, and the man sat in the passenger seat.

The mother was driving much slower than everyone else. People were screaming and horns were blaring.

A police officer pulled her over and asked why th...

Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects

for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.

"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"

So now, every time Mr Snail driv...

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