UPJOKE

So Sick Jokes

I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude.

Always walkin around like they rent the place.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So sick of double standards these days.

When a dog licks his balls in public, nobody says anything. But when I do it, people yell "what are you doing to your dog, you sick fuck?"

I'm so sick of all these REPOSTS

For 25 years I have been working day and night to find the originator of the first joke. I think I may have found it in the original Hebrew Bible.

Adam spoketh to Eve and said, "Now see the mess thou has got us into. I should never have listened to you."

Eve replied, "How the hell was ...

My wife is so sick...

I have to carry her to the kitchen, so she can fix me something to eat...

My wife told me she is so sick of my mansplaining, and if I don't stop she's going to throw me in a deep hole with water in it.

I know she means well.

I’m so sick of hearing friction jokes...

If I hear one more, I won’t let it slide

I'm so sick of gravity.

It always brings me down

I'm so sick of my friends not being able to handle their alcohol

Last night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me home

I'm so sick of all the right vs left BS! it's all 'the left are so evil all they do is ..' or 'the right is so evil all they care about is ..'

First off, it's divisive and bringing out the worst in people. Completely ruining the country. Secondly, who the hell really judges people based solely on which Twix they prefer?!

I'm so sick of film spoilers.

If anyone tells me what happens in the new Ted Bundy film I'm going to kill them.

I'm so sick of deaf people

They never listen!

I'm getting so sick of these double standards...

Burn a body at a mortuary and 'you're doing your job', do it at home and you're "Destroying evidence"





P.s wasn't sure to post this to /r/jokes or /r/funny

I'm so sick of hearing necrophelia jokes

They've all been done to death.

I'm so sick of people making fun of the United States

Don't they know we're the third best country in North America?

I am so sick of these double standards.

Burn a body at a mortuary and you're doing your job. Do it at home and you are "destroying evidence."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend always takes long baths after we finish watching a Ryan gosling movie

I don't know what she's doing in there, but it gives me lots of time to jerk off to Ryan Gosling

I was so sick to see a man smoking cigarettes inside the temple in front of all the devotees and priest.

I almost dropped my beer bottle.

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Sometime I get so sick of my large intestine.

It always gives me shit.

I'm so sick of all the Irish stereotypes...

As soon as I put down this beer, I'm going to punch someone!

I'm so sick of political jokes...

I've seen too many get elected.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to...

I'm so sick of seeing so many lazy abortion jokes on here

Like can we just cut it out already?

I'm so sick of all these unfunny dad joke reposts.

"Hi, So Sick of All These Unfunny Dad Joke Reposts. I'm Dad!"

I'm so sick of people looking at me funny because I choose to breast feed.

If I wanna get my milk straight from the cow, then that's up to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first!

Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?

So sick of people claiming the president has done nothing for blacks voters. That he is a horrible racist and has horrible approval rating among the black voters.

Go a head name one other president besides Muhammadu Buhari that has done more for the Nigeria people?

Cheating for "Good" Reasons

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "We...

My wife said I should put the mask on if I'm leaving the house - and so I always do.

But my dog has to be so sick of that stupid movie by now.

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