UPJOKE

So Serious Jokes

To everybody that takes black jokes so seriously...

Maybe you should lighten up a little.

Why so serious?

A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.

Why did Charlie Brown take his pole dancing routine so seriously?

He was tired of doing comic strips.

Don't take life so seriously,

You won't make it out alive.

Why are EU gamers so serious about what they do?

Because they can’t be memers

People don't get why I'm so serious about forensics all the time.

It's a grave situation.

Why are the "sans" family of fonts so serious?

No one wants to be comic sans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures?

Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Why are atoms so serious?

Because they're no laughing matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major...

...found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time there were three friends

Once upon a time there were three friends who had three addictions.

One was a smoker, one was an alcoholic, and the other, a sex addict.

Since their addictions were beginning to be detrimental to each other's health, they decided to see a doctor. Once in the doctor's office, the doctor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Marine Sergeant recently returned from Afghanistan attends his 10 year high school reunion

At the 10 year reunion for Lockwood High School class of 2010, Allison is getting a fresh drink when she runs into Jim. Jim was a bit awkward and quiet in high school, but now he's wearing a Marine sergeant's uniform, with a row of ribbons.

Allison strikes up a conversation and Jim has become...

Nun's First Confession

A Nun's First Confession. The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit." The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so ...

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