UPJOKE

So Lazy Jokes

yo mama so lazy...

she couldn't finish the

Writers these days have become so lazy

They’re remaking the first Writer’s Strike

My dog is so lazy!

He doesn't run after cars like other dogs. He stands on the sidewalk and takes the license plate numbers.

People are so lazy

They don’t even copy and paste good jokes anymore.

Yo momma is so lazy...

Yo momma is so lazy that when she died and went to heaven, god told her to climb the stairway to enter and she said no.
So then god sent her to hell.

--

My younger son is on a yo momma joke kick right now in life and said this one to me in the car. I know it's a terrible yo momma ...

Yo momma is so lazy

She took 9 months to deliver the joke

I'm so lazy.

I'm so lazy my mom gets onto me about sleeping all the time, she once asked me "Is sleeping all you're good at?"

I said "Yea, I could do it with my eyes closed."

Why are some rocks so lazy?

They live a sedimentary lifestyle.

The people who create math worksheets are so lazy.

They create a bunch of problems and expect other people to solve it for them.

When I was born my parents were so lazy they forgot to give me a name!

So they just called me

Germans today are so lazy;

It's been more than 70 years since they last invaded their neighbors

Yo mamma is so lazy and dumb...

She thought Jungle Gym was Tarzan's cousin!

Original. You're welcome.

People who process expired passports are so lazy

they’re always cutting corners.

(Joel Dommett)

My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology.

"They're not the only ones," I said, looking at his mobility scooter.

He’s so lazy, that if he robbed a bank he wouldn’t even count the money.

He’d just wait to find out in the news report.

The laziest person award

There was an award ceremony for the laziest person in the world. Many lazy people came to the award show but nobody among them was awarded. Turns out the laziest person was too lazy to attend the award show.


So they went to the laziest persons house to give him the award in person. He wa...

The Laziest Man

There was a very very lazy man in a village. He was so lazy he didn't do anything for himself.

It got so bad that the men of the village decided it would be best to just bury him cuz he was just so lazy and useless.

So they came to his house, grabbed him and carried him away to be buri...

There was once a very lazy man

This man was so lazy eventually his father has enough. He put him in a sack and dragged him down to the river and was about to throw him in when a passerby noticed. "What're you doing with this man?" He asked. "He's very lazy he doesn't do anything I've had it with taking care of him and feeding him...

Doctor gave me 3 months to live...

I'm so lazy I missed the deadline, that was 4 months ago.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are sitting in the pub discussing who has the laziest son...

"My son...", says the first "... is so lazy, that when I sent him three minutes down road to the chip shop to get a couple bags of fish and chips with a twenty pound note and told him he could keep the change- the lazy bugger still wouldn't go."
"That's nothing..." says the second, "...I got in l...

An old granny and her grand daughter are chatting about granpa

-Did you love him, granma?
-Oh yes, i loved him so much. He was all my life, even tough he was so lazy.
-How come?
-You see, everytime there was something not working, he would never do anything about It. "Al, the sink Is broken." "Do i look like a plumber?" He would reply. "Hon, a brick fe...

This is a joke that from several decades ago, and was recently shared with me

The local government just finished paving a highway, and is hiring crews to paint stripes down the middle. He hires a crew of 5 guys (the og joke says mexican but thats not pc) and one (used to be polish) guy (again, not pc).

The first day of painting goes by, and the crew of 5 paints two mil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are arguing over which one is lazier.

Two guys are arguing over which one is lazier. The first guys says, "I'm so lazy, I want to push a button that does everything for me. From the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep, every single thing is taken care of for me. All at the push of a button."

The second guys says, "I got ...

Jesus decides to give the apostles a bunch of gifts...

Jesus: Each one of you grab a piece of rock.

*everyone each grabbed the biggest rock they can find and rolled it back to Jesus, except for Judas who was so lazy that he just picked up a pebble.

Jesus: I shall now turn those into gold for you to keep. Now go get another piece of rock....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God calls in an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian for a quick reckoning.

God has realized that things aren't going so well in the general vicinity of the Balkans so he calls up an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian to convince them to change their ways.
First he calls in the Grecian and says to them, "Your people have become so lazy in recent years! You're ruining e...

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