So Fat Jokes

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity

But she so ugly people are still repelled by her

she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops

…her car has stretch marks.

It’s usually of the tectonic variety.

She went skydiving and got stuck.

It was the crane!

She starts the alphabet with O B C D

The only scale she could use is the Richter Scale

Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat.

[EDIT] OMG, thanks for the Platinum

She needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.

When she's walking down the street, cops driving by scream out, "Hey you two --break it up!"

I tried driving around her and ran out of gas.

When she steps on a scale it says 'please, one at a time'

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

My phone ran out of space.

And she broke my neck.

When she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up

when she eats Taco Bell, she gets the walks.

… she wouldn’t be called a medium, but an extra large.

When she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

When she travels by bus, it becomes a cab.

Her favourite soccer team is Hamburg

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

It takes a week to mow her burial plot.

She has a watch for every time zone she's in,
When she walks past the tv, you miss 8 seasons,
She beat galactus in a planet-eating contest,
Thanos couldn't snap her out of existence,
Flash died before he could do a lap around her
And she ate a black hole because she was hungry

On one edge of her passport photo, it says continued on next page.

When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.


Gimme your best yo mama jokes.

she outta breath from taking the escalator.

A water park hired her to sit in a wading pool and start flapping her thighs together to make waves.

When she takes a bath she doesn't use any water and it still overflows!

when she sat on a memory foam it forgot

Her blood type is A ... & W

there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

I know it's not mine. But just heard it for the first time the other day. Made me smile. What is your favorite yo mamma jokes? Would love to read them

her tailor uses mattress sizes

I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings... read more

She uses Macrowave instead of microvave.

She's got dollars in one pocket and yen in the other.

Your momma is so fat that when she accepts website cookies they run out.

She ate her laptop because the website said it had cookies in it.

That not even the police could surround him

She uses the highway as a water slide

Every time she's about to jump in the pool God says: "Noah, get the boat NOW"

...she has to upgrade her data plan every time she sends a selfie.

When she goes to the beach the tide comes in, but she's so ugly that it goes back out

[Edit] typo

...when she goes jogging, she leaves potholes.

Her nose can't even run




Came up with this myself and was quite proud

She couldn’t even be lifted up in prayer.

She took a driving test, when the examiner said drive through, she responded with, I'll take 5 big macs, 20 mcnuggets, and a large coke.

...that she's currently rolling over in her gravy.

...she had an heart attack while running an app.

When she stepped on the scale, it said one at a time please.

Because of Gravitational Lensing.

Ed Sheeran had a stroke trying to sing the shape of her

She is considered a carbohydrate based life form.

She only needs a single cup of water to fill up her bath

She achieved herd immunity by herself

Her weight loss program was featured on: Top 10 failed megaprojects.

When She Walked In Front Of The TV I Missed Two Episodes.

For Halloween she put on a bedsheet and went as Antarctica.

her carbon footprint turned to diamond.

... that when she went to the movie theater she sat next to everybody.

when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 80 years to live.

She sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad!

The National Weather Service gives a name to each one of her farts.

China is planning on landing on her dark side!

She wears the asteroid belt to keep her pants up.