Snakebite

Two buddies were riding their horses through the wilderness when they stopped by a creek to fill their canteens. While Joe crouched down, Clyde went downstream to take a leak.
"Tarantion!" Clyde shouted, "that there rattler done bit me on the weener!"
Joe shot the snake dead and told Clyde...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two buddies are out hiking in the woods. One goes to take a piss, and gets bit in the dick by a rattlesnake

His buddy calls 911 to ask what to do

911 tells him he needs to suck the venom out of the snakebite on his friend’s dick

The snakebite guy yells out “what did they say!?!?”

His friend responds, “they said you’re gonna die”

A Tourist is Trudging Through Australia's Desert

A tourist is trudging through Australia’s Great Victoria Desert. …

He’s completely lost, and he’s quickly running out of water. His vision is rather impaired, and he can tell that he’s only got a few more hours before he’ll pass out.

Suddenly, he accidentally steps on a rattlesnake! Be...

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A blonde and her guide returned from an overnight hike

The blonde went straight to the hotel bar and ordered a stiff drink.

"You look frazzled," the bartender said. "Tough time on the hike?"

"TERRIBLE," she said after downing the drink. "The walking was hard, the weather was bad, and my guide almost died!"

"Really? What happened?" <...

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One goat

Giuseppe lived in a small town in Italy and had done so for 80 years. He was increasingly growing concerned about the disdain he was experiencing from his neighbors and townspeople he'd known his whole life. One day a tourist visiting the town came up to Giuseppe and asked him what was the matter an...

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