Slower Than Jokes

This is why some people seem bright before you hear them talk.

Sonic the real one.

So he turns on his lights
and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five
old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the
back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was ... read more

They get stuck behind a group of golfers who seemed to be moving slower than usual.
One of the country club members explains to them that this is a group of blind men who lost their eyesight as firefighters. The country club allows them to use the course once a year free of charge.
The priest... read more

…And everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

he always drove slower than the speed limit around schools.

A man and his mother were going away for a week to see extended family. The mother was driving, and the man sat in the passenger seat.

The mother was driving much slower than everyone else. People were screaming and horns were blaring.

A police officer pulled her over and asked why th... read more

There are clocks everywhere. Each one of them shows different times. But some go faster than the others.

"What's with the clocks?" he asks.

"Each country has its own clock here. The higher alcohol consumption, the faster the clock."

He was right - the Korean clock for example wa... read more

They decide to have a competition. The goal is to throw your watch up in the air, run down the hill, and catch it.
The first man prepares himself and throws up his watch. He runs as fast as he can down the hill, but the watch gets there before he does.
The second man (who is much faster than... read more

A priest was sent out to a rural village because the old priest has passed away. He meets the local people, they all get to know each other. His first mass goes well, but after the ceremony a slim man in poor clothing approaches the priest and says:

\- Excuse me father, be kind, and please gi... read more

are playing golf, and they notice that the group ahead of them is playing slower than any group they've seen before. So when the owner of the course walks by, they ask why the group ahead of them were going so slowly. The owner says, "Oh, this is a group of volunteer firemen who lost their sight whi... read more

A man walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk for a faster way to cut down trees. "My axe isn't cutting it anymore, it's just too slow," he says.

The clerk looks around for a bit and comes back with a chainsaw. "Here, this might be what you want." The man says, "Oh yeah, I've heard ... read more

This is long, but worth it.

Their names were Herman and Berman and they were twins. Herman was born just slightly before Berman. Herman and Berman were colts of average work horses and were to work the fields everyday. One day Herman and Berman decide to have a race. Everyday at noon, the lu... read more

So a gentleman walks into a Sears store to buy a saw. The store employee recommends to the customer a smal entry level chainsaw insisting that it will make the man's job much easier. The customer is reluctant at first but upon being assured that anyone can use a chainsaw he decides to make the pur... read more