I tried to wear skinny jeans once

I couldn't pull 'em off

What do skinny jeans and middle-class houses have in common?

No ballroom.

What do skinny jeans and a cheap hotel have in common?

There's no ballroom.

Friend told me this a couple years ago. I was reminded today, by wearing skinny jeans and tugging at my crotch the entire time.

My grandpa just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, “Who is this guy?”

Grandpa: This is my hip replacement.

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull it off.

To the guy who stole my really tight skinny jeans...

You won't be able to run, just hide.

I know skinny jeans are fashionable...

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.

A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.

Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"

From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"

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