American presidents are on a sinking ship!

Ford says: What do we do?

Bush says: Man the lifeboats!

Reagan says: What lifeboats?

Carter says: Women and children first!

Nixon says: Screw the women!

Clinton says: You think we have time?

Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump are all on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?

America.

An Asian, an European and an American is stranded on an island after surviving a sinking ship accident.

They now want to start a new society, at least until they're rescued.

The American decides to be the minister of building and construction and the European takes the position as the minister of food and cooking.

Left over, the Asian is now pretty disappointed that they can't find any m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest, rabbi, and a preacher are all on a sinking ship

Rabbi: we have to get off the ship!

Preacher: we have to save the kids first!

Rabbi: fuck the kids!

Priest: do we have time?

Bill Clinton, George W.Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, "Save the women!"

George W. Bush hollers, "Screw the women!"

Bill Clinton asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mother sharks and her offspring were swimming one day when they came upon a sinking ship.

Mother shark saw the humans abandoning ship. Once the ship sank, she instructed her offspring, "Follow my lead. We're going to swim in circles around the humans". The little sharks, their hunger already growing, were excited. One asked, "Can we eat them now?" Mother replied, "Not yet, dear. Just fol...

You know why it’s women and children first off of a sinking ship?

It’s so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution.

Why do we let women and children off a sinking ship first?

So the men can plug the leak, sail away, and start better lives.

Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship...

Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?

The answer: AMERICA!!!

I'm great at signalling for help on a sinking ship..

Just got a flare for it.

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

I love my wife so much...

I love my wife so much, that if we were on a sinking ship with only one life vest, I would miss her very much and think of her a lot.

I just got laser eye surgery and I can't help but feel cheated

Because I still can't see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Which of the following does not belong: a) Gordon Lightfoot b) Helen Reddy c) Donald Trump d) Celine Dion

b) Helen Reddy is not associated with a sinking ship.

Stranded on an Island

There once was a young single guy on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every las...

Lord is my Savior

Father Jones was barely alive, clinging to the remaining wooden flanks of the sinking ship he was on. Rescue boats were busy rescuing other survivors in the ocean as soon as possible, but Father Jones wouldn't want any of that for himself. Being an ardent believer, he insisted *''Lord is my savior!'...

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