UPJOKE

Single Man Jokes

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A rich single man is having a drink by himself in a bar

when a gorgeous woman enters. Everyone is staring at her. The guy thinks to himself, "there's no way in hell I have a chance with her." But, lo and behold, she sits down next to him and has a drink. The two get to talking, and the man learns that she is a hooker. A few drinks in, the man says, "I'm ...

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A married couple and a single man are stranded on an island

After a few weeks the single man is getting very horny. The married woman one day whispers to him, "I'd love to help you out but my husband wouldn't stand for it, and as you know, it's a tiny island with only one tree." The single man says, "It's ok. I'll think of something." Every day they take...

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What's the difference between a single man and a married man.

Ones spends his nights alone watching porn, being miserable.


And the other one's single.

When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.

Now that I listen to whole albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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Cheers to me not fucking a single man in my 30 years of life!!

I only fuck married men.

What do a married man and a single man have in common?

Each of them thinks the other one bangs all the time:D

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As a single man trying to attract a partner, it's important to project the qualities you desire

Which I understand. But boy.. oh boy have I had to suck a lot of dick lately


\~ Norm MacDonald joke read by Bobby Lee

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A Single Man Goes Up to The Check Out

He places a pizza for one. Bottle of coke and a block of chocolate on the counter.

The cashier says "Single Huh?"

The man laughs and replies 'hah yeah how could you tell?'

The cashier "Well, because your fucking ugly"

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My wife read a fantastic story of some guy’s adventurous life as a single man...

She sat across from me reading this enchanting story, and every word I was pulled in by the pure bravery this man encompassed! There were moments of cheering and tears flowing freely. “This man knew how to live!” I yelled! My Lawyer said to “shut the fuck up!” “Do you want to lose half your shit!...

God is travelling around the world to spread his religon

He gets to India and asks the public, 'Will you take my commandments to be yours?' The public says no and decides to try elsewhere.

He gets to China and asks, 'Will you follow my commandments?' And the public replies no.

He gets to Israel and asks, 'Will you take my commandments?' The ...

It's not true that a married man will live longer than a single man

It just seems longer

A single man comes home late, looks to see what is in the fridge, and goes to bed

A married man comes home late, looks to see what is in the bed, and goes to the fridge.

International Men's Day

When creating International Women's Day the committee in charge also created one for men. The problem is, every single man forgot the date, so it has been lost to history.

Well, after much digging and searching I managed to rediscover the date, and wanted to share this information with every...

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Old 1930s depression era joke…

What is the difference between a single man, and a divorced man?


A single man is missing buttons on his shirt.
A divorced man has no shirt.




Another depression era joke:

Church Usher: “things are definitely improving for the congregation.”

Minister: “how...

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