Single Handedly Jokes - 21 Hilarious Single Handedly Jokes

my great grandfather single handedly took down 97 german planes in WW2

Easily the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had

I am single handedly the best counter

But I can only get to 5. . .

My grandfather was in the Hungarian army and killed 54 men single handedly

He was a cook

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Pornhub promised to plant 1 tree for every 100 views. Guess what I will do.

I will single handedly save the plant.

I’m sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion.

She’s single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

A new girlfriend asked me "How did you manage to stay single for so long?"

Single Handedly

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My girlfriend said she'd leave me if I didn't stop .

I'm single handedly destroying my love life.

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I'm handling my collection....

Single handedly.

Have you heard about the one-armed super hero?

He single handedly stops crime.

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My therapist says im addicted to ...

I vowed to beat it single handedly!

I Currently Teach a Class about Suicide

First Semester has been good so far, I Single Handedly Prevented the entire class from having suicidal thoughts or actually going through with it.

I Promised the class that I would do a suicide demonstration to show the perspective of a dead person. Ill be posting my experience in a few minut...

My colleague offered to help me filter adult contents from more than a thousand hours of video.

Nah, thanks. I'm gonna do it single handedly

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Hitler was a hero...

He single handedly ended the Holocaust, and killed one of the most evil people from history!

No matter what one says about Putin

It's tough running two countries single handedly

TIL: Captain Hook ran an entire pirate ship.

He did it single handedly too.

He was a bit out of breath afterwards though.

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It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at the...

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Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar. . .

RESUBMITTING WITHOUT LINKS

Picture it. June, 1971. London.

Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.

Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil t...

Drunk guy sat at a bar

Drunk guy sat at a bar, is on his 15+ beer of the evening when he notices 3 newcomers enter the pub and sit at the bar next to him.

"Hey, wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?" he asks the nearest one.

The newcomer turns to face him and for the first time he see it's a lady with blonde hair.<...

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Injured Pirate Captain

An old pirate captain was having a talk with a young pirate captain out on the docks.

They joked for a bit until the young captain gets the courage to ask: “What happened to your leg?”

The old captain was eager to respond: “Oh this ‘ere leg? Well ye see lad, I was in a chase with an en...

All numbers are equal

Long ago in the Kingdom of Natural Numbers, there used to be slaves. The citizens appreciated the number 2 so much, to a point that they would determine one's social class by his/her divisibility by 2. And those not divisible by 2 - sorry, then they're slaves.

7 was born an odd number. That's...

To be part of the clan...

A man is looking for a radical life change. After considerable thought, he decides to move to the freezing regions of Alaska, to live with the Eskimos. He leaves soon afterwards.

He really enjoys his time there. He seems to be getting along with everyone, and has learned to adapt to the ha...

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