UPJOKE
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A man starts his new job as a miner in a far away Australian town.

The town only exists for miners, and all the miners are men.

After a month on the job the man is very horny, but with no women in town he's out of luck.

One night in the bar he's talking to his fellow miners about his situation. He asks them how they deal with the loneliness.

Th...

"Bot Rule" has extended past reddit, and taken over the muggle and wizarding worlds

Giant posters all over the country let everyone know that the population is now under *Bot Rule*.

Any opposition to *Bot Rule* is met with swift punishment

Sickened, Harry Potter waves his wand at the nearest poster, rearranging the letters of the twisted sign.

"This spell's tro...

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Hitler gets out of his morning shower and decides to check on his camps.

He dries his little handlebar and heads straight to Auschwitz to check on the Jews that he has gathered for safe keeping. Upon entering, he notices that none of his precious Jews are anywhere to be found. Hitler decides that they are probably finishing up in their morning shower as well, and goes to...

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Yasser Arafat calls George Bush the morning of 9/11.

"Speaking in behalf of all my population, I am truly sickened by the tragedy that happened and I wanted to assure you that we do not condone terrorist acts in any form or way."

"Sorry Yasser, but what are you talking about?"

"Oh shit guys why didn't you remind me of the different timez...

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Magic Dildo

A man was in a sex shop looking for a gift for his wife. Mother's Day was just around the corner and he wanted to get her the perfect gift. He was having trouble deciding so he went up to the counter to get some help. He asked the girl at the counter, a stunningly hot blonde, what her favorite toy w...

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3 men and cannibal island (long)

Dave, Harold, and Allen were taking a boat trip in uncharted waters when they were ravaged by a storm. A wave crashed against the boat and capsized it. The three men woke up on the beach of a mysterious island. The three men decide they should look for food and make shelter out of the nearby jungle....

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