UPJOKE

Shout Out To Jokes

A shout out to Jussie Smollette

On hiring black actors for what has been a traditionally white role.

Shout out to people wondering...

what the opposite of in is

Shout out to those who don’t know the opposite of in.

They need the help.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO LIBRARIANS!

oh... sorry...

Shout out to America!

There's been no school shootings this year!

Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.

Shout out to Will Smith!

I never would’ve stood up for another man’s girl like that

Shout out to my grandma

that's the only way she can hear.

Easter - Shout out to Judas for the long weekend!

I hadn’t heard this before - a punchline 2000 years in the making…

Shout out to my arms for always being by my side...

& my legs for being there every step of the way

Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets

For teaching me how to flirt!

can we give a shout out to sidewalks?

Cuz' they really helped to keep me off the streets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shout out to my butthole...

for dealing with my shit everyday.

Shout out to my wife for explaining the word "many" to me

It means a lot

Shout out to my student loans

for being the only one from college keeping in touch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend always takes long baths after we finish watching a Ryan gosling movie

I don't know what she's doing in there, but it gives me lots of time to jerk off to Ryan Gosling

Shout out to my spinal cord

For always having my back

Shout out to my grandparents!

Not because they both helped out with something, but because they have a hearing disability.

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

Shout out to all my friends having an identity crisis

, You know who you are, I think?

Shout out to all the Dads on Father's Day!

Because if you're black, they're really far away!

Shout out to people who dont know what the opposite of in is

^(Ignore this part im only writing this part so my post wont get deleted)

Shout out to Mother Earth!

She's 4.6 billion years old and still getting hotter.

Shout out to the undertaker who buried my mum in the wrong crypt, you'd better watch your back!

You made a grave error

Huge shout out to the woman that message me first...

Love you, Mum!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shout out to my loving wife, who has made me everything I am today...

Fucking miserable

Alright, before I start my speech I’d like to give a quick shout out to my grandpa!

Cause that’s the only way he can hear

I just wanna give a shout out to the ancients, for inventing the calendar.

It has made my day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three rats are at a bar telling stories on how tough they are....

The first rat takes a shot and says, "Whenever I find rat poison, I like to crush it up and do lines just to get a good buzz for the day."
The second rat takes a shot and says, "That's nothing! Whenever I find cheese on a mousetrap, I purposely trip the spring & right before I get crushed I ...

When I heard that Kevin Hart was injured in a car accident, I was really worried for my kids.

They use the same brand of booster seat!

Too soon?

EDIT - thank you mysterious benefactor for my first gold!

EDIT 2 - Shout out to u/LethKith who wants me and my whole family to die in a fiery car crash. I hope you have a good day buddy. Try to relax and enjoy the joke for what ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This Sunday is Father's Day

I just want to give a shout out to all you motherfuckers out there.

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