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Short Period Jokes

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A man wakes up heavily injured in a hospital after a short period of coma

After the doctors stabilized him, they asked him what happened. The man says: “Well, the last thing I can remember is laying down in the couch with my wife and watching a movie with her. Then, I remember wanting to drink a beer, so I asked my wife to go and snatch one for me. She told me to go and g...

A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor's house and asks for 200 dollars. Doctor says to him: "Even i, don't make so much money in such a short period and i'm a doctor".

And the plumber goes: "I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself"

The Ukranian Soldier

A Russian general hears someone shouting from the woods - "One Ukranian soldier is better than ten Russian". The angry general sends ten men to deal with the annoying Ukranian. After a short period of shots and screams, another shout is heard - "One Ukranian is better than a hundred Russians". The g...

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What do you call breasts that can hold information for short periods of time?

Random Access Mammory.

Whys was the internet so obsessed with the song "Cotton-Eyed Joe" for a short period of time?

I mean, where did it come from where did it go?

There was a short period of time in ancient history when offenders were not only nailed to a cross, but also burned alive

Fortunately, the practice ended and very few people were crucifried

What happens when you get a lot of electroshocks within a short period of time?

It hertz.

Found an Funny Indian Joke and tried to translate it.

An Indian politician was visiting a foreigner politician. He saw foreigner politicians had a big house and 2 luxury cars. He askes him how is it possible as the salary of a politician is not that much. Foreigner politician took Indian politician on drive and said

"do you see this 10 lanes hig...

A man was in a terrible accident, and his wife asked for his prognosis

Well, Mrs. Smith, your husband went into a short period of suspended animation.



Oh my God! He went into a Coma?



No, it was for only a few seconds. I'd call it more of a comma.

A guy is tossing peanuts in the air...

A guy is tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth and his wife asks him a question. He turns to answer her question and the peanut he just tossed lands in his ear and gets stuck.

He and his wife spend a short period of time trying to get it out and decide maybe they should...

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A man's sex life is like an oak tree

You spend the first part of your life growing up and not doing much. Then later you nut almost constantly for a short period of time, right up until you go bald

A priest, a pastor and a rabbi talk shop.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbi were seated at lunch during am Ecumenical congress. After a short period of weather talk they soon were talking shop.

"So, I was wondering how you guys go about distributing the collection monies between the church and God" said the priest. "What we do is draw ...

/r/Jokes, a public service announcement: search the punchline before you post your joke.

Often times, when a joke hits the top of this sub, it gets passed around and subsequently reposted many times in a short period. It can be difficult searching for the joke, since everyone uses different titles, but the search function not only searches titles but the content of posts as well. If you...

A man arrives at the hospital...

A man arrives at the hospital after his wife just gave birth to his son. After waiting for a short period, he sees the Doctor approaching with a "bad news" kinda face.

 


The Doctor says: "Hello sir, I'm afraid I h..."
-"What?! Is it my wife?! My son?! What happened?!"...

An Irishman finds a magic lamp...

... He picks it up, gives it a rub, and out comes a genie.
"Master! you have freed me from the lamp! I will grant you three wishes!"
"Wow, three? Okay, let me think for a moment."
After a short period of deliberation, the Irishman had finally come up with something.
"I would like to have...

A woman visited her doctor

Complaining about a personal problem: she had a habit of wetting the bed. The doctor said, “I’ll have to examine you to find the issue”

“Ok,” said the woman, “what do you need me to do?”

“I’m going to ask you to you shut the divider and undress,” the doctor replied.

The woman b...

A Taliban commander is walking through the mountains with his troops..

Everything is calm and then from behind hill comes a voice "one SAS solider is better than 10 of your men." Excited at the thought of taking out an SAS member, the commander sends 10 of his troops over the hill. After a short period of gun fighting, silence falls. And then again, from behind the hil...

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Burnt Toast

A 14-year-old kid comes home from school crying after the first day of school. His mom asks what's wrong, and he says, "Today we took showers in gym class, and I noticed that compared to everyone else, my penis is small and I'm practically hairless! The other kids noticed, too, and they started to...

A young married couple are out golfing together...

The man heads up to the first tee box with his driver and takes the biggest, hardest swing he can muster. As you'd expect from an amateur golfer, the ball slices hard right and off the fairway, breaking a window in a nearby house. Slightly embarrassed, the man says to his wife, "Well I feel bad. We'...

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