UPJOKE

Shooting Blanks Jokes

My wife told me to stop teasing our neighbor about his infertility after he threatened me with gun.

But I'm not scared because he's shooting blanks.

I love watching kids running in the park...

They have no idea I'm shooting blanks

I tried to think...

I tried to think of a good reason why I don't have children.

But I'm shooting blanks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wants to join the CIA

He signs up for recruitment and a couple days later he gets accepted into the training program. The CIA begins to put him through a bunch of tests to see if he's truly qualified to be an agent. He goes to the shooting range, he swims and runs laps to show his endurance, and he trains in martial arts...

A man is standing at the office water cooler...

...Talking animatedly telling his coworker he found that his girlfriend was poking holes in his condoms. He elbows the other guy and says "luckily I found out years ago I'm sterile, really dodged a bullet there."

The other guy scoffs "is it really dodging bullets if you're shooting blanks?"

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