UPJOKE

Seven Minute Jokes

One afternoon, A Viking called Rudolph was looking out his window when he suddenly said , “ It’s going to rain in seven minutes.” His wife asked, “How do you know?”

His response:” Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

I saw my son smoking a cigarette.

I said, "What are you doing, lad?"

He said, "I'm smoking, of course. What does it look like?"

"One cigarette takes seven minutes off your life," I informed him.

"Yeah. And what!?" he asked arrogantly.

"Here," I added, "have my packet."

A man goes to meet his girlfriend's family (long)

A man goes to meet his fiancee's family. At the house is the fiancee, her parents, and her super attractive younger sister. After dinner, the fiancee goes to her room to unpack, the mother is in the kitchen doing dishes, and the father is in his mancave, leaving the man and his girlfriend's sister a...

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Confused

Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together. The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail.

The robbery begins. The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, "I want to make abso...

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There were two nude statues...

There were two nude statues, man and woman, standing across from each other in a secluded park. A few hundred years after they've been put in place, an angel fluttered down to them. A wave of his hand, and suddenly the statues had been given flesh, and they step down from their pedestals.

The...

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A guy suddenly let out a big fart nearby a 4th grade class road trip to a historical war landmark

A young kid who happened to hear it got close to the guy and asked him "Sir, what was that?"

The guy, sweating nervously tried to invent a lie "Errrr, see kid... that was... the cannon of the historical park nearby, that was, er... announcing that it's five o' clock, yeah!"

There was a...

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