UPJOKE

Selling Drugs Jokes

My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs..

I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a black man selling drugs?

A pharmacist, you racist.

A dentist in my town just got arrested for selling drugs!

It's amazing what secrets people can keep. I've been going to him for over ten years and I never knew he was a dentist!

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My grandpa loves jokes and over quarantine he sent us an extensive list of jokes. He called these ones groaners. Please enjoy. ( NSFW warning I don’t know how to tag it)

I lived in a houseboat for a while and started seeing the girl next door. Eventually, we drifted apart.



My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.



A man tried to sell ...

Did you hear about the Ironworkers who were arrested for selling drugs?

Yea, apparently those who smelt also dealt

A dentist living near my house got arrested for selling drugs.

In today's world you can't trust anyone, I went to him many times in last 10 years, and I never know that he is a dentist.

A cop gets called out to a bar on suspicion of a man selling drugs in the bathroom

Upon arrival, the cop finds a man with a bag of cocaine in his hand about to flush it down the toilet. The cop stops him and asks him, “is this bag yours?”

The man replies “I’m sorry officer I swear someone handed me these and ran. I kept trying to flush them down the toilet but they keep app...

Everyone in our little town was shocked and horrified that the local butcher got busted for selling drugs.

I had seen Pete once a week like clockwork for over a decade, never even knew he was a butcher.

Did you hear about the guy who got an award for taking down a thrash band selling drugs?

He got a metal mettle medal for metal meddle.

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It was 1988. A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot...

... One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond n...

Alliteration

A husband and wife were resting on a beach when they noticed a girl with a travel bag. She would approach people with boom boxes and other electronic devices and speak to them. Occasionally she would hand them something and walk off.


"She's probably selling drugs," said the woman.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A police officer gets a new case

A police officer is minding his own business when his partner drops a case on his desk. His partner says,"Leonid, a dance studio is running a drug operation, clear as day, open and shut case".
Leonid has had a long day but is excited because open and shut cases don't happen often around thi...

Being Colombian is hard.

If I got a 1$ Every time someone thought I was selling drugs, I’d be so rich, I wouldn’t have to sell drugs.

Four psychologists are talking . . .

. . . and one says "all day long we listen to people's guilts and fears, but we have no one to go to with our problems. Why don't we take some time right now and hear each other out?" The other three agree.

The first psychologist confesses "I have an almost uncontrollable desire to kill m...

This guy walks into a bar...

...bellies up to the bar and orders a beer. The place is mostly empty, just him at the bar, and he's been there a short while when in walks a gorgeous brunette. She looks around, not seeing him and then marches straight to the back of the joint and sits down at a corner table in the back with a cru...

That Dope

I think my wife is secretly selling drugs...this morning I answered the phone and the guy said "Is that dope gone yet?" Hmmm...

I was once a medicine salesman, but I was soon fired.

I lost my job for not selling drugs.

A man goes to jail.

Lets just say his name is Phil. After he gets settled in he goes out to the wreck yard. Another inmate notices he is new, approaches him and asks him what he's in for. Phil tells him he has a drug and arson charge. The inmate says, so you lit something on fire and got caught selling drugs? Phil says...

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