Officer: “I’m sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck.”
Man: “Yeah but she’s got a great personality”
President Trump said "No politician in history — and I say this with great surety — has been treated worse or more unfairly."
I guess the 6 Presidents who were shot no longer count
*edit had 4 in post originally
When it comes to what I like most about dad jokes, I will say this:
this
(Got to say this out loud) Knock knock...
- Who's there?
- I eat map
- I eat map who?
- Ewwww (etc, etc)
This is posted on behalf of our seven year old. It's his favourite joke.
It may not be "politically correct" to say this...
...but there are over one million U.S Senators.
HUSBAND: I hate to say this, but your swimming costume is quite tight and revealing.
WIFE: Well, wear your own one then.
I'm pained to have to say this...
Ouch
My mom said my Pawpaw would say this joke all the time in the car. They'd be driving along and a bug would splat against the windshield and he'd say...
"I bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again."
Say this aloud: Why do mermaids wear seashells?
Because b-shells are too small and d-shells are too big!
I don’t know how to say this, but
can you pass the Worcestershire sauce?
You might say this whole Covid thing is...
...nothing to sneeze at
(Just thought of that this morning, not sure if it's been done)
If you can say nothing else about Jeff Goldblum, you can say this.....
He's pretty fly for a white guy.
I am in no position to say this,
but my math teacher is the third derivative of my position
Look, I just want to say this ...
THIS
There is no easy way to say this:
"Bintzeqtwchngleuxt!"
Being an older due and a longtime Penthouse fan I never thought I'd say this but...
I sure do miss Bush.
A customer of mine asked how much I’m charging to say this.
I said “Nothing. I believe in free speech.”
I say this next election we learn from our mistakes in the past and try to move forward to a brighter tomorrow. This election vote...
Hindsight 2020
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