UPJOKE

Same Song Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that 80% of people masturbate while in the shower, and the other 20% whistle or sing the same song? Do you know what the name of the song is?

Well I guess I know what you’re doing in the shower!

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

I've just joined a rock band that play the same songs in the same order at every gig.

We're OC/DC

My abusive father got drunk to the same song every night. I tried to shut it off before he could get started...

But he beat me to it.

What do you call someone who plays the same song over and over on his didgeridoo?

An unoriginal aboriginal.

what did they call the disc jockey who kept playing the same songs again and again?

DJ Vu

Recently joined a Styx cover band

We play the same songs, but heavier. We’re called Logz.

A man and his wife attend the wedding of a mutual friend.

The ceremony is beautiful. The man and his wife are both struck with nostalgia and joy as they sit and remember their own wedding day. They hold hands throughout the ceremony, moved nearly to tears. Then, at the end of the ceremony, the new couple even walk out to the same song the husband and wife ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two morticians alternated in sharing the responsibility of covering the night shift.

One early morning about 3:00 am, a body was brought into the
mortuary, and the mortician began work. When he had unclothed the corpse,
he noticed a cork in the anus. Removing it, the strains of "Hello, Dolly,
well, hello, Dolly...!" were plainly heard being sung. He put the cork
back, an...

A man had a song stuck in his head for 30 years

For thirty years, the same song played on repeat inside this mans head. Over and over again. Finally one day it suddenly stopped. His ears still slightly ringing, he sighed deeply and said "ahh, The Sound of Silence".

And then it was stuck in his head again..

A priest goes golfing.

At the end of his sermons every single Sunday, a priest proclaims to his congregation that they should go out and do community service in the name of God. He then goes on even longer about how he is going to be feeding homeless people, building schools, etc etc, for the rest of the day. After the se...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Respect and Blowjobs

A girl and boy meet in high school and fall in love. They do everything together and eventually lose their virginity to one another, but the girl refuses to give him a blowjob. "I'm sorry," she says. "I love you so much and I'd do anything else in the world for you, but I'm afraid you'd lose resp...

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