UPJOKE

Sales Associate Jokes

I went furniture shopping and really hit it off with the female sales associate.

It didn't work out though. She was looking for a serious relationship and I was just searching for one night stand.

A sales associate asked me which mattress I would buy

I said I'd sleep on it

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A man was driving home from work when he remembered it was the 20th anniversary of his marriage

He still needed to get a gift for his wife, so he stopped at the department store on his way home. He quickly went to the lingerie department to pick up a gift and a sales associate was very happy to help. The sales associate asked what his budget was, to which he responded about $50. She showed him...

A gentleman walks into a store tells the sales associate “I need an anniversary gift. Do you have any perfume?” Lady shows him a bottle, he asks “how much?” She replies “$50”. He asks for a cheaper bottle. She shows him another bottle. “How much?”, “$20” she replied. He asks again “anything cheaper?

She shows him a mirror.

I tried buying a vacuum the other day

The sales associate told me they all suck

On his way home from work, a man realizes he has forgotten a birthday gift for his daughter...

He stops at Toys R Us and heads straight to the Barbies. Overwhelmed by all of his choices, he approaches a nearby sales associate. She then proceeds to show him their most popular Barbie dolls.

"Well, here we have Astronaut Barbie, Surfer Barbie, and Veterinarian Barbie... but our most popu...

A blonde goes to a electronics store...

and walks up to the sales associate and says, "I would like to buy the TV in the corner."

The associate says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes."

Furious, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair black. The next day, she returns to the store. She sees the same associate and says, "I w...

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Life of a salesman

So a department store famous for carrying everything is looking to hire a new sales associate. They have narrowed it down to two candidates. They decide to do a trial run and give them each a week to see who earns the highest commission to see who gets the job.

The first guy comes in every d...

Russian Condoms

One day the president of the largest condom company in Russia is called down by his sales associate. He tells the president that they have just gotten a huge order from America for double extra large 16" condoms. The associate tells the prez that it must be a prank, so the president mulls it over fo...

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Bunny Wabbits

A little girl steps into a pet shop, walks up to a sales associate, and says, "I would wike to buy a wabbit, pwease.."

The woman takes one look at the little girl, and her heart melts. The child had big, bright eyes, a little button nose, pig tails - she's cuter than Shirley Temple. She scru...

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The little boy who couldn’t speak some words right

Today was a young boy’s birthday. His mother gave him money to spend on this special day. So he goes to the near by stores near his home.
The first store he enters was general store. He tells the clerk,” May i buy this bum and fuket?” The clerk looks confused but then realise he pointing at the g...

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