UPJOKE

Sack Of Potatoes Jokes

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A woman was cheating on her husband with 3 guys.

During one night she noticed that her husband came home earlier. She told the guys to hide in the sacks. When her husband entered the room he asked "What are these sacks doing here?". The woman answered "Well, my relatives came by and left these as a present.".

The man walked towards the firs...

When I were a lad my mother would send me down the shops with a pound and I'd come back with teabags, a sack of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, and a dozen eggs. You can't do that nowadays....

...Too many damn security cameras.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead just robbed a bank.

They see the police cars are approaching so they escape to the back alleyway. There they discovered 3 big sacks. One sack full of kittens, one full of puppies, and the last one full of potatoes. They each get into a sack, hoping the cops won't notice them. A police officer checks the alley and sees ...

A Blonde, Brunette, and a Black haired girl are running from the police.

So they run into a farm and split up.

The Black haired girl runs behind a cow,
the Brunette runs behind a pig, and the Blonde runs behind a sack of potatoes.

Night comes and the police eventually find the barn and and search it. One of policemen look through the cattle and shines a ...

My know it all sister said that onions are the only vegetables that make you cry.

So I threw a sack of potatoes at her

There was a blond, brunette and a redhead running from a cop...

They turn down an alley and it's a dead end. The blond hides in a sack of potatoes. The brunette hides in a dumpster and the redhead hides in a trashcan.

The cop comes running down the alley and doesn't see them. So he walks over to the trashcan and kicks it.

"Meow!" Meows the redhead...

An english man, an irish man and a scottish man are running away from the police.

An english man, an irish man and a scottish man are running away from the police. They find 3 sacks and hide in them. The police man approaches the sacks and kicks the first one. The English man barks like a dog. The police man kicks the next one and the Scottish man screams like a cat. The policema...

When I was a boy, mum would send me down to the store with $5

I'd come back with a sack of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 liters of milk, 2 kilos of flour plain and self-raising AND have a pocket full of candy. You can't do that anymore. These days there are too many security cameras.

Four guys are driving on a long road trip. It's the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

The guy from Idaho takes out a sack of potatoes and starts throwing them out the window one by one.

"What the hell are you doing?", someone asks. "Look, we've got so many potatoes in Idaho. I mean, we're overflowing with them. So whenever I travel I'm supposed to get rid of as many as I can....

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A redhead a, a brunette and a blonde are trying to hide from a farmer who's chasing them

They run into his barn and look for places to hide. The redhead hides behind the farmer's cow, the brunette hides behind the farmer's horse and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes.

The farmer manages to track them down to the barn, runs in and cocks his shotgun.

"Is there anyon...

Three people are running from the cops.

Three people are running from the cops. The first hides behind a fence, the second behind some garbage bags, and the third in a sack of potatoes.

The cops walk by the fence and hear "ruff ruff" so they think "oh, it must just be a dog" and walk by.

The cops walk past the garbage cans a...

The Russian and American generals are talking about their troops..(Old Joke)

The Russian general says, "we feed our troops 1,500 calories a day." The American general says "that's nothing. We feed our troops 5,000 calories a day, at least." "Impossible!" says the Russian general. "No man can eat an entire sack of potatoes in 24 hours."

John, Paul and Peter were running through a tropical jungle when...

...they heard their pursuers (a rebel group) nearby. They saw an abandoned farmhouse and entered it. There was nothing there that they could use to fight the rebels off. They only saw three empty burlap sacks. The trio entered the sacks and stayed still. The rebels entered the farmhouse and saw the ...

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2 drunk men

Walk into a brothel, staggering and slurred they ask for 2 girls. The madam says to one of the girls “just give them blow up dolls, they will never know the difference.
When they come out the they ask how it was
“Terrible” says the guy “she was like a sack of potatoes, never even moved!”
“...

A brunette, redhead and blonde leave the bar

On there walk home they see a farm and decide to break into the barn to pet the animals. The farmer noticed someone broke into his barn and he called the cops, when the girls heard the cops coming they decided to hide.

The cops come up to a cow and shine there flashlights on it, from behind ...

[Not a joke] I'm looking for a joke with the punch line 'cha potatoes'

My mom heard a joke years ago from a coworker with the punch line 'cha potatoes'. Basically meaning 'duh'. She used to say it to me growing up and I thought it was a thing people say but my husband informed me it's most definitely not. I told my mom this and she told me it's from an old joke about a...

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Ole and Lena want to join the local church

So they go meet the pastor. The pastor says “This church very high standards for our members. In order for me to accept you as new members, you will have to prove you are worthy by abstaining from sex for 30 days”.

Ole and Lena look at each other and said “Ya, sure, vee vill give it a try”...

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