UPJOKE

Russian Girl Jokes

A lot of Russian girls are trying to hook up with American guys online.

But it’s really just Putin trying to interfere with our erections.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't Russian girls like small dicks?

They can't tell if it is Putin or not.

I asked out a Russian girl.....

I asked out a Russian girl, not with anything very serious in mind. She said yes.

However, on our first date, she insisted that we went to see a Russian movie, and then eat at a Russian restaurant. She then took me to see her Russian family, and told me about how she was going to take me to s...

Beautiful Russian Girl

My friend Dave just met this tall beautiful Russian girl and now they are getting married. We all knew her from college except for Dave. She looks like one of those models from a beauty pageant.

To give you an idea of her beauty, On a scale from 1 to 10 , she got a 12 inches surpise for him.

So I was fornicating with a Russian girl...

faster faster! She yelled.

FASTER FASTER! She screamed.

FASTER PLEASE!

Then I said:

Babe stop, I'm not russian.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a russian girl who just had orgasm?

So vet

I once dated a russian girl and told her she was "blyatiful"

We are happily married now with 2 tanks and a tzar bomb.

I know a guy who has the hots for this Russian girl

He tells me everyday how he wants to get into her pants. After hearing the same thing for the last eight months, I told him to quit Stalin and Putin her already.

A woman asked her husband what do you want me to bring for you when i come back from Russia?

The husband said: I’ve heard that Russian girls are very pretty, bring one of them for me.

After few weeks, the woman comes back from her travel, her husband asks her: where’s the girl?
She responds with: “you’ll have to wait 9 month for her to arrive “

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ukrainian Wedding Night

Father and grandfather are giving some wedding night advice to a young Ukrainian groom who is about to marry a Russian girl. The father starts:

"When you take her to the bedroom, carry her in your arms and then without visible effort deposit her on the bed. That way you will show her that Ukr...

What do you call a Lada at the top of a hill?

A miracle.

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A man drives his Lada to a mechanic and asks, "Can I have a spare hubcap for my Lada?" The mechanic says, "Sounds like a fair trade."

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A Russian man enters a car raffle. Dropping the tic...

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