UPJOKE

Running Errands Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An amish girl and her mom are riding home in a horse drawn carriage

Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold."

Mother: "Stick your hands between your legs and your body heat will keep them warm."

So the daughter does this and she is amazed how warm her hands got. So the next night she is with her boyfriend running errands:

Boyfriend: "Wow, it is col...

I’m from Pittsburgh, originally — and just hang out with my mom for a little bit, you know?

Wanted to go home and hang out with her for a little bit, you know, help her out, cheer her up. But all my mom cares about now is the lottery and me running errands for her. Like, every day. Every day, it’s, “Anthony, go play my numbers. Go play my numbers, please. I don’t want to miss out today.” F...

What do you call a marathon of people named Aaron?

Running Errands

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

these are my cookies.

So a boy is staying at his grandfathers house.

He is eating lunch with his granfather and the grandfather says, "son, could you go pour me a glass of scotch?" The boy said yes and went into the house and came back out with a glass of scotch. He then said to his grandfather "could I have a si...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of the pickle slicer

John came home from his job at the pickle factory one day looking troubled. His wife asked him what was the matter.

"I been thinking about putting my penis in the pickle slicer."

"Oh my god! You need to get help! That's crazy!", she exclaimed as he hung his head.

He d...

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