Rudolph The Red Jokes

But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.

He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.

...but few know that Bruno the Brown Nose is the second in line.
He can run as fast as Rudolph, but he isn't as quick to stop.

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were ... read more

His wife asked "How do you know?"

He smiled and answered proudly, "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation.

"I think it's raining," says the man.

"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the main. "Officer Rudolph, is it rain... read more

They're having a nice night when, suddenly, they start to feel a bit of precipitation on their faces.


The woman looks at her husband and says, "Look, dear, it's raining."


Her husband tells her, "No, dear, it's snowing." Well, this argument goes back and forth for a few minu... read more

Because every time his wife went out, she'd end up blowing 50 bucks

Some time in the early 80s, during perestroika, a couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square in late December.
There was a fine mist in the air, and the couple are arguing.

I think it’s snowing," says the man.

"No. That's definitely rain ," replies his wife.

"Too cold for r... read more

There once was a young Viking named Rudolph the Red and his wife Freydis. Freydis decided to have a walk with her husband, but when she told him of her plans he took one look at the sky grunted and said it was going to rain. Freydis was confused a there were no clouds in the sky. Later on in the day... read more

Opening his eyes, he turns over to look out his window. A loud pattering sound fills his hut. “What is that?” asks Rudolph’s wife.

Rudolph gets out of bed to get a closer look outside. After a few seconds of observation, he comes to a conclusion. “It’s raining,” he informs his wife. Sleepily... read more

He turns to his wife and says, Bring the little ones inside, it looks like its going to be a wet day. His wife says “why do you say that” he looks at her and says
“Because Rudolph the red Knows Rain Dear”

(Merry Christmas You Filthy Animals)

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

...is facing a crisis. They haven't had any rain in almost 2 months. All of their crops are dead or dying, and many of the citizens are starving.

One day, Sven comes bursting into his kitchen, scooping his wife Helda into his arms and dancing with joy.

"Sven! What's gotten into you? Wh... read more

As they are walking, the husband feels a drop of water fall on his face. He turns to his wife and says “I think it’s raining.” “No, it is definitely snowing.” Replies his wife. They started to argue, and the husband says “let’s not bicker, let’s ask our tour guide Rudolph whether it is officially sn... read more

Future Christmas classics come with new traditions such as KGB in your Christmas tree, Secret Service in your stockings, NSAgg Nog, Yakuza Claus, Ms-r13ndeer, and Rudolph the Red Nose is a bug.

I wanna see a Yakuza Claus game now and Goro Majima better be Santa.

He and his wife are walking outside when it starts to precipitate.

"Oh look, Rudolph," says his wife. "It's snowing!"

"That's rain, honey," says Rudolph.

"No, no, no, that's definitely snow," says his wife.

To this, he replies with "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

There once was vicious Russian Czar named Rudolph the Red. On a cold winter day, he looked out his castle window and remarked to his wife, "I do believe it's raining." His wife replied, "Rudolph, It's far too cold for rain, it must be sleet or snow."

He yelled back angrily, "Impossible! Rudo... read more

They talk about many things as they walk but eventually shift the topic of conversation to the weather.

The husband says, "Honey, we should hurry up before it starts to rain."

To which the wife replies, "I know these clouds dear, it is not going to rain."

The discussion goes on ... read more

They started arguing about whether it was raining or not. To settle the debate, they decided to ask a communist named Rudolph sitting near by. Upon asking, Rudolph told them that it was raining. "See I told you", the husband says."Rudolph the red knows rain,dear"

They got into an argument, the man claiming it was raining, and the woman claiming it was snowing.

During the heat of the argument, they spotted a well known local official walking past.

The wife exclaimed, "We will ask Brother Rudolph for the official word from the Party!"
... read more

I was in Russia with my wife and the weather was a little bit weird. I insisted that it was rain, my wife insisted it was snow.

We decided to ask one of the Russian Communists there. I introduced myself and he said his name was Rudolph. I then asked about the weather. And he said it was clear... read more

The husband looked up at the sky and said "It looks like it's going to rain. We should probably try to get home." His wife disagreed, and said "I don't think so. I'd like to just keep walking." They continued on their walk for a while, but the husband still thought it was going to rain. So he walked... read more

Rudolph was a child adopted from Russia. One day Rudolph and his brother are arguing if it is raining or snowing outside. Rudolph says it raining and his brother says its snowing. They decide to ask their mother what she thinks. Their mother says its raining. When his brother asked why she agreed wi... read more

Donald Trump and Rudy Guiliani are in the Oval Office and are arguing about the weather. Trump says it's snowing, while Guiliani says it's drizzling. Melania enters the room, and sees the argument in full display. Finallly she interjects by saying, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear," and leaves the ... read more

A husband and wife went on vacation to St Petersburg. One night they were there, precipitation fell from the sky.

"Oh look, it's snowing!" said the wife.
"No, that's rain," the husband argued.

Unable to settle if it was raining or snowing, they decided to ask the first person they s... read more

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas. Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the... read more

A couple were visiting an art gallery in soviet St. Petersburg when they looked out of the window and saw the weather starting to look quite cloudy. The wife turned to her husband and said "We should get back to the hotel,I think its going to snow!" Before her husband could reply their tour guide le... read more

when all of a sudden, the woman feels something wet on her head. She looks up and then turns to the man and says "Honey I think it's snowing". Looking slightly confused, the man replies "No darling, it is obviously raining". The woman does not believe him and they begin to argue.

Trying to a... read more

"Looks like rain today doesn't it?" but his wife insisted...

"Rudy, my love, the weatherman says it will clear up before lunch."

"No, zayka, I feel it in my bones. It is going to rain."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Oh, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear..."