Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **
Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again
Dad: Why? Is it too "...
Wife: "Why are the dishes still in the sink?"
Husband: "Because if I let them soak for long enough, getting them clean will be effortless.
\**Wife rolls eyes*\*
Wife: "Oh forget it. I'll do it myself."
\**Wife goes to wash the dishes*\*
Husband (...
my check engine light was on…
so i popped my hood, my engine is still there? so don’t really know what it’s talking about???
*rolls eyes*
stupid car
-Do you want a beer?
-no Ralf I am pregnant -*rolls eyes* do you two want beers?
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."
A professor is lecturing his students...
Professor: In English, a double negative is a positive, in Russian a double negative is a negative, but there is no language where a double positive is a negative.
Student: *rolls eyes* Yeah right!
Professor: nevermind
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
WIFE: I found porn in the browser history
ME: \*feigning surprise\* I see. Guess it’s time I had a talk with our son
WIFE: \*rolls eyes\* He’s 3, Patches
ME: \*nodding\* I’ll go easy on him
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