UPJOKE

Riding A Bike Jokes

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Sex is like riding a bike...

People don't like it when you do it on the sidewalk.

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Saw a kid riding a bike today that I thought was mine

I checked my basement and sure enough he was still in there.

What Do You Call a Doctor Riding a Bike?

Doxycycline

I got pulled over for riding a bike drunk

I got pulled over by the cops for riding a bike drunk. The cop asks me; "what do you think you're doing riding a bike drunk?"

So I told him, " I'm too drunk to drive, and every time I try and walk I fall down. So I stole the bike"

Anyhow, long story short, I need bail money.

Bob was riding a bike. Bob fell off the bike. Why did Bob fall off?

Someone threw a washing machine at him

Doing math after years out of school is like riding a bike

It's no fun when you run into something hard.

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Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time.

My dad was holding me from behind.

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I just saw a guy riding a bike while trying to sell a donkey.

He was peddling his ass all over town.

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike

What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?

Attire

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How is cunnilingus like riding a bike with an open face helmet?

It's a lot of fun as long as you don't end up with bugs in your teeth.

What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common?

If you're not careful, you can pop a ball.

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A woman goes through border control on her bicycle with two panniers filled with sand.

The border guard was suspicious about it and searched through the sand, but couldn’t find anything hidden, so he had to let her through.

The next day, the same woman passes by, again riding a bike with two bags brimming with bright sand. The guard was still unable to find anything. He felt so...

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A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

He...

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Joke from old Czechoslovakia, translated for you

I was a CEO of big company. I was driving corporate Tatra 613. Every morning, coffee was brewed by sexy secretary assistant. One day, they asked me to contribute 5000 crowns for the funeral of the member of Central Committee of the Communist Party. I said that for 5000 crowns I will burry the while ...

The clever smuggler

At a border between 2 countries, the Customs Officer stops a man. He's riding a bike and holding a huge sack.
The officer asks "What's in the sack?"
The man replies "Just some mud."
The officer checks. Sure enough- mud.
He's very suspicious, but has no choice, and lets him go.
Next d...

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