UPJOKE
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Rhe Jokes

Why did rhe parked racecar exit the garage?

It didn't have enough vroom.

Why does rhe Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships

So they can scan-da-navy-in...

Whats rhe difference between ab alcoholic, and a lawyer?

A law degree.

Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up?

Because they had no CHEMISTRY.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do eating pussy and being in rhe mafia have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man waiting at the airport overhears some people mention that the Pope will be on board his flight

"the Pope!" He thought. "Getting to see or even meet him would be amazing!"

He boards rhe plane with everyone and luckily enough his seat is right next to his holiness himself.


The man is nervous and doesn't know what to say to him so he remains quiet and begins reading his book. ...

Respect for a joke not well received as a comment, bon appetit!

Me:"Waiter, taste the soup!"

Waiter:"Whats wrong with the soup?"

Me:"Sir, would you mind please, taste the soup!"

Waiter:"The soup is too hot?!"

Me:"No, but taste the soup"

Waiter:"Whats rhe matter, soup too cold?!"

Me:"Sir, just taste the soup"

Waite...

country drive

One day, a man was driving down the road in the country.
He looks over and sees a cute little pig in the field. He pulls over and picks up the pig.
He is driving around town and a cop sees him and pulls him over.
Cop says, "What are you doing with that pig in the car?"
Driver says, "W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest and a Nun go golfing...

...They reach the first teebox and decide the Nun shall go first. She sets up her ball and then proceeds to pray

"Oh Father, we thank for this wonderful game of golf and this beautifull day that we can come together and play golf for you glory. I ask for you blessing with this drive. Father,...

Three of my favorite bar jokes. Kinda old probably.

1. Horse walks into a bar and the bar tender ask " why the long face"

2. Horse walks into a bar and orders a martini bar tender brings him one and starts to walk away. The horse says wait can I please have a olive in this. Bartender puts a olive in and the horse drinks it and eats the olive ...

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