Returning to work, a colleague asks me, "Pick up any new hobbies while stuck at home?"

"Yeah," I reply through my mask, "I took up ventriloquism. I'm pretty good; notice how you can't see my lips moving."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender goes: "Oh shit, horse! A horse!" He calls 911.

The patrons start freaking out: screaming, scrambling to escape. Drinks fall off tables. Glasses shatter.

The *horse* starts freaking out: knocking over tables, rearing, neighing, kicking like crazy.

One patron takes ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The doctor is sat in his office one day & asks the nurse/secretary to send in the next patient.....

.........In walks Mr. Jones, closes the door behind him, sits down & the doctor immediately notices that he looks totally physically drained & hasn't had a decent nights sleep for weeks......

"Ok, so how can I help you Mr. Jones?"

"Well, it's like this doc, I have a hyperactive...

The sign in the bathroom at Kentucky Fried Chicken said...

..."Employees must lick fingers before returning to work."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A newlywed couple return from their honeymoon...

Sally wants to make sure her man is treated right for his first day back to work, but unfortunately she doesn't know how to cook. Being a young couple, she never learned much from her mother and she never told her husband, but she remember he is a man and calls him into the bedroom.

She is l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy starts working on an oil rig in Newfoundland

...he meets the boss of the company, is introduced to his duties and works hard for 3 months. His supervisor is impressed by his work and tells him:

"You've been working your ass off and deserve break, here are the keys to the company car, go into town and have yourself a good time"

Th...

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