Remember When Jokes - 63 Hilarious Remember When Jokes

Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why?

Inflation

Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!

Remember when Putin said he didn't have any plans to invade Ukraine?

I'm starting to think he was telling the truth.

Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue?

It was about a week back.

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I remember when I first started using drugs. I was 18 years old...

It all started with a spliff, the odd bong or two.

Before I knew it, I'd started using amphetamines like speed and for a stronger buzz, I moved on to ecstasy.

It wasn't long after, that I started on the hard stuff, like cocaine and heroin.

I was a complete mess.

I was ...

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo

Now you mention Botox and no one rises an eyebrow

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I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *

Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, “I’ll give you a reason to cry!?"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

I remember when I first used Reddit.

Everything was new. To me there were no reposts.

What a good 4 seconds

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I remember when my dad once gave me money to pay the electricity bill.

Instead, I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me.

But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the house door, parked outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried; especially me, because the car...

I can still remember when my mom would tuck me in...

She really wanted a daughter...

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

I remember when I got married to my wife. I had 18 blissfully happy years.

Then I met her.

I remember when I was a kid and air pumps at gas stations were free, now they cost a quarter

Damn inflation

Remember when Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear?

To be honest, I just don't see the attraction.

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I can remember when the air was clean

and sex was dirty.

I remember when Grandpa’s memories started to go;

it was the day I caught him urinating with the door open… which is not a huge deal, but it’s annoying when I’m trying to drive.

Remember When ADHD Was Just ADD?

Me neither.

Remember when you blew bubbles when you were younger

Well… he’s looking for you

I remember when they first told me about pangea....

It was a groundbreaking discovery.

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remember when jokes like this were funny... before smartphones?

A chap walks into a pub carrying two suitcases. He puts them down and orders a drink. As he pays the barman notices that he is wearing a large watch.

'That's a large watch' says the barman (see I told you!)

'This watch,' says the man, 'is the very latest in high tech gadgetry. It'll te...

Anyone remember when a holiday somehow managed to impregnate a month!?

*Ya it looks like Christmas came in July!*

...

...yes I've not been invited to a party in years, why do you ask?

I remember when I was a kid, you could fill up a flat tire with air for free. Now it's $1.50.

That's the price of inflation.

I remember when I divorced my wife...

.. she insisted on dividing everything up fifty-fifty. She took half the dishes; I took half the dishes. She took half the furniture; I took half the furniture. I mean, right down to the pets. She wanted half the cats; I got half the cats. She wanted half the fish; I got half the fish. She even wa...

I remember when McDonald's switched from styrofoam to cardboard and paper.

I'm still wondering when they're going to start using actual meat.

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire.

was a figure of speech.

Remember when going to bed was a punishment?

How stupid we were!

I remember when I could go into the grocery store with a dollar in my pocket.

And come out with a dozen eggs, pound of bacon and a loaf of bread.

You can’t do that anymore they have cameras everywhere.

Remember when radical extremists were just kids pulling sick stunts off on their skateboards?

Gnarly.

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I remember when my parents were so poor...

That on Christmas morning if it wasn’t for my boner I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.

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I remember when, as a kid, I learned toilets could flush.

I lost my shit.

Remember when jokes weren't just about nostalgia ?

Those were the days.

Remember when frozen waffles were a big thing?

That sure was a while *Eggo.*

I remember when I found out that I was a mute.

I was upset to say the least.

I remember when my wife gave birth at the hospital & a nurse came out and handed me a swaddled baby..

In a sad voice she then told me, "I'm sorry sir but your wife didn't make it."

I replied back, "Well, this is nice, but could you bring me the baby my wife did make!"

Remember when you could smoke in a bar ?

Now you can't even drink in one.

Remember when we thought 2016 was a terrible year?

That was hilarious, wasn't it.

I remember when I was a kid I could go to a store with a dollar and get two big bags of chips, a 2 liter of Sprite, 6 bags of Skittles and 6 Slim Jims.

Nowadays they have cameras everywhere inside.

Remember when glaciers were cool?

That's all. What's a good follow up? It's a climate change joke. Idk.

I remember when I was younger lying there in bed waiting for Santa to come..

I also remember the awkward silence while waiting for him to get dressed and leave.

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

And I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Remember when you were young and you used to blow bubbles?

Well I heard he's out of prison and he's been looking for you...

I remember when I was a little boy, an old man suddenly stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.

So I've spent all my life working on a time machine, and now that I've built it, I'm going back in time to when he was a little boy, and I'm going to punch him and see how he likes it!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter,...

Remember when Britain was still part of the EU?

I still remember it like it was yesterday.

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I remember when i saw my first boob

Ahh the mammaries

Remember when you feel as if time slowed down?

It's caused by the gravity of the situation.

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I remember when I lost my virginity.....

That’s the last time I was allowed to go camping with my Uncle.

Remember when Pop Rocks used to be popular?

Sad, they kind of fizzled out.

Remember when Bill Cosby played a doctor?

#MeToo

I remember when two Asian girls tried flirting with me

They asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it will be like winning the lottery. To my horror they were right... we had six matching balls.

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nsfw Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly........

At Family Dinner:
Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you told me, "no butter for a week?"
Dad: yeah...
Son: and when sis killed that honeybee and you said, "no honey for a week?"
Dad: yeah, that was a month ago. So what?
Son: Mom just killed...

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What's important to remember when buying real estate in Japan?

Look Asian, look Asian, look Asian.

I REMEMBER WHEN MICHAEL JACKSON WAS IN THE CARDIAC WARD FIGHTING HEART FAILURE.

Now they tell me he was in the children's ward having a stroke.

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

I remember when a YouTuber's main aim was to entertain

Now they're all diss-track-ted

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I remember when I took my son to the pub for the first time I bought him a pint of bitter,

he didn't like it so I drank it, I bought him a pint of lager,

same thing,

cider same thing,

alcopops, same thing.

I bought him the full selection of spirits,he didn't like any of them so I had to finish them off,

so we finally went home.

How the fuck I ...

Y’all remember when Ritz and Goldfish crackers didn’t contain trace amounts of salmonella?

Pepperidge farm remembers.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year...

Now, it's Election night.

Remember when nostalgia was good?

Those were some real good times, they really bring me back

Remember when you wanted to watch the video your friend recorded of the concert they went to?

Me neither.

Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk?

My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.

Remember when we went to the Gaslight Club?

Yes we did - why do you keep forgetting things?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Remember when a bunch of Redditors started buying coconuts?

I do.

People back then were fucking nuts.

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