I am really good at finances

All my bills are outstanding

I’m new to the stock market and I’ve been getting really good at pinpointing the peak of penny stocks. I’ll explain.

That’s when I tend to buy them.

I used to sell security alarms door to door, and i was really good at it.

If no one was home, i would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad

I guess it will be 5050



I have a really good joke about helium

But it'll get no reaction like my cake day.

What do you call a shrimp that's really good at basketball?

Leprawn James

I have a really good joke about procrastination

But I have other things to do. I’m sure I’ll get around to telling you the joke later.

Dad to his son: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!”

Son: “Go on, then.”


Dad growls: “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”


Son: “Dad, that’s Superman!”


Dad: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

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My ex was really good at blowjobs

Just a pity I found out from my friends

I could tell you a really good science joke

But all of them argon

i was playing a game earlier and the other team was really good and i'm new so i left. and then i realised i didn't rage quit i parent quit

i wasn't mad just disappointed.

I have two really good Spanish friends in the south of the USA that I want to visit some day

They're called Louise y Anna

I tried a vegan steak the other day and it was really good!

Cannibalism isnt for everyone but I sure like it!

I had a really good job and i was making six figures

Now I'm just making stick figures

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What do call an alligator that's really good with directions?

~~A navigator.~~ Fucking terrifying

Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

My pet fish is really good at tricking people

It's a catfish

I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

I have a really good joke about the Jonestown massacre....

But the punchline is too long.

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David Blaine is really good at hiding his boner

He’s a master of missed erection.

Most state abbreviations are really good

But Oklahoma's is just OK

What's a really good silverlining about getting a Divorce in Alabama?

When it's all said and done, you are still brother and sister.

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Did you know cucumbers are actually really good for your memory?

My uncle put one in my ass 12 years ago and I still remember it.

You know Corona Beer is having really good sales these days.

They've been doing amazing ever since their ad campaign went viral.

My father was diagnosed with alzheimer's last year, so I've gotten really good at introducing myself...

To all of mom's new boyfriends.

It’s a little known fact that surgeons are actually really good comedians

They always leave their patients in stitches!

I just made up a really good fencing joke!

EDIT: Nevermind, apparently it's a riposte.

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I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty cocky of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

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A man proudly says: We've got a really good sexual life with my wife. We do it every month.

His friend says: We do it twice a month.

A third guy stands up: We do it *every* week.

The fourth friend just laughs, stands up and says proudly: We do it *every day*.

The friends look at each other with confusion, "but, you don't even have a wife" they s...

Why does Michael J. Fox make really good milkshakes?

Because he’s rich and can afford the best ingredients

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A blonde woman read, in Cosmo, that milk is really good for your skin.

Now this was a woman who wanted perfect skin all over so her master-plan was to fill up a bath, with milk, and soak for a few hours.

The next morning, the milkman arrived at the door and she asked "Hey, Mr Milkman, I wonder if you can help me here?"

"Of course, what's the problem?" he ...

Last year In Africa, I made friends with a Mosquito. He told me a really good joke

I thought it was Malarious.

I used to be really good at flash mobs

But then my 5 year old stopped inviting me to her dance rehearsals.

I had a friend who was really good at Russian roulette,

He’s only lost a single time!

I've got a really good joke about dentists

Brace yourselves...

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What are Christian pornstars really good at?

Missionary work.

I have a really good airplane joke I want to share

But I think it might go over your head

"Your diary is really good," said my wife.

"My thoughts exactly," I replied.

I posted a really good time travel joke next week.

It blew up!

Popeye was a really good photographer, Because he was

“Popeye DSLR man!”

What do you call it when a British person takes a really good look at something?

A propaganda

My neighbors listen to really good music

Whether they like it or not.

My wife said, That old song by Bill Withers is really good. I said,

I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know.

I used to be really good at throwing boomerangs.

But after years of not practicing, I forgot how to do it.

I found one the other day, and tried to throw it again. Suddenly, it all came back to me.

I just came up with a really good Schroedinger joke.

But I won't know if it's funny or not until you observe it.

You may be a really good person deep down inside

But I dont carry a shovel

What do window washers, who are high on really good weed, deal with every day?

Chronic pane

My friend is really good at making denim clothing

He's a jeanius

How can you tell when you've found a really good rock n roll band in Minnesota?





They have two accordions

A guy turns 61 and to cheer himself up he gets a facelift. It turns out really good and he goes back to work. On his first day he goes to Starbucks for coffee and decides to try it out: “Excuse me, can you tell me how old you think I am?”

It turns out really good and he goes back to work. On his first day he goes to Starbucks for coffee and decides to try it out: “Excuse me, can you tell me how old you think I am?” and the girl goes “I don’t know...53?” He says “ well that’s great, I’m actually 61.“ Later that day, he goes to McDonal...

There was this really good post on r/jokes;

Too bad I've already Reddit.

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Me and my toilet have a really good relationship

I guess its because we've been through a lot of shit together

What's really good on pie and really awful on people?

Crust

My 88 year-old grandfather is really good at sleeping.

He can do it with his eyes *open*.

It's been 24 minutes now and he hasn't blinked once.

Some people say I'm really good at blowing air around the room

But honestly, I'm not a fan

I just heard a really good joke about a giant squid

It's Kraken me up

What do you call someone who is really good at weighing things?

A programmer.

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What do you call an Arab who's really good at eating pussy?

Lawrence of the labia.

"Wanna hear a really good joke about half-grown bananas?"

"Nevermind, now's not the ripe time!" 😉

I made this myself, instead of sleeping at night.

I'm a really good magician

But my dad was better. He disappeared when I was 4

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Sex is like Kebab. When it's good, it's really good...

...and when I'm drunk I'm willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet.

I think medical marijuana is really good...

... for joints.

I'll see myself out.

You know when you make a really good joke and you’re really proud because everyone laughs at it?

That’s probably how my parents felt

I had a really good discussion with my calculus professor today

but after a while, it started going off on a really weird tangent.

My friend said he had a really good memory. I didn’t believe him and told him to prove it.

He told me about a time when he was 6 and wanted an N64 for christmas. On christmas morning he found an N64 and 3 games under the tree and was overjoyed.

I guess I was wrong. It was a pretty good memory.

The Last Jedi was really good

Definitely in my top 10 Star Wars movies

I’ve got a friend from Prague who is really good at chess

He’s my Czech mate.

Why do Jamaican pilots make really good spies?

"Cos they're always in de' skies mon".

It turns out that I am really good at drawing..

Well,at least the doctor said so,as he spoke in a British accent about how I am artistic..

Im getting really good at mixing boiling water and leaves together

I've got it down to a T

I’m reading a really good book about vacuums

I’m just so sucked into it!

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I'm really good in bed.

I often sleep more than 9 hours.

My father is really good at basketball

He always told me "I've been Duncan all my life"

I’m really good at spelling bees

It’s all the other words I have trouble with

What do you call a woman who is really good at catching fish?

Annette.

The worst part about being really good at keeping secrets is that...

Nobody knows.

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What do really ugly people and really good-looking people have in common?

No one of the opposite sex has the guts to talk to them...

I'm so lonely

I used to think that I was really good at playing dumb,

now I'm not sure I was ever playing.

I'm really good at blood tests

Every time I take one I get an A+

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Things are not working out with my math teacher girlfriend but she is really good at sex.

I don't know whether to eighty-six her or sixty-nine her.

I hate when I'm about to hug someone really good looking

And then I hit the mirror.

I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator.

We speak to eachother on so many different levels.

I've gotten really good at counting cards

There's usually 52.

Have you heard about the squid that's really good at his job?

The manager says he's an ink-redible employee.

I’m really good at managing my credit card...

...My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding.

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[NSFW] Every morning at precisely 4am I wake up and give my cock a really good beating.

And yet the next day at 4am, he still "cockadoodledoos!"

So I found out that my computer is really good at singing

But that makes sense
After all, it is a dell

Trump is really good about his ears.

He wears ear plugs at loud concerts.
He makes sure his ear wax doesn’t build up.
He keeps the gray hairs growing out of his ears nice and trimmed.

He’s quite possibly the most ear responsible president we’ve ever had.

Why are there no really good steak jokes?

Because they're a rare medium well done

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A man walks into a bar. He orders 4 shots of whiskey from the bar. He drinks them. The bartender pours another 4, which he drinks. The bartender- "You seem to be in a really good mood!" The customer- "I'm pretty excited abut my first blowjob!" The bartender says "Congrats, have another shot on me!"

The customer replies "No thanks, if 8 shots of whiskey won't get rid of the taste, I don't think 9 will either!"

Why are writers really good at coding?

Because they are really into Pro grammar.

I'm bad at reading social cues, can't make eye contact, am really good at drawing, and don't pick up on sarcasm...

I think I might be artistic.

I just read the bible, really good book. Had a lot of character development

In my opinion, the Noah Arc was the best part

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