UPJOKE

Really Dumb Jokes

I just finished watching a murder biopic on Netflix and some of those cops were really, really dumb.

The serial killer was Dahmer though.

Do you know 99% of people are really dumb?

Luckily, I belong to the smart 5%.

You know what's really dumb?

Directions on toilet paper.
What’s dumber than that?
Reading them.

Even dumber?
Reading them and learning something.

Dumbest of all?
Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.

This joke is really dumb but it still won me the joke competition.

It was the dumb best joke.

TIL it is impossible to stick out your tongue while looking straight up

Without looking really dumb.

Proof that blondes are not, in fact, dumb.

There was a huge convention where all the guests were blonde. It was decided to prove once and for all that blondes are not really dumb.

They got the smartest blonde in the room up on stage. The announcer asks "What is 100 divided by 10?" The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "Is it s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A family goes to a nude beach....

A family goes to a nude beach and their young son is curious about a few things. He come running back to his parents shouting, "Dad! Dad! There's all these women around with these things on their chest, some are big and some are small!" His dad replies, "Yes son. They're called breasts, the women wi...

Bull

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice ...

So there’s three guys in the middle of the Great Depression.

Their names are Bob, Joe, and Ronnie. Now Bob, he's a pretty smart guy. Definitely the smartest of the three. Joe is, well he's not great, but he's had a few good ideas in his time. Now Ronnie. Ronnie is dumb. And when I say dumb I mean _dumb_. Like really, really dumb. So one day, these three are p...

Little Bobby and the barber

A barber was cutting his customer's hair when he saw little Bobby walk by outside.

He said to his customer, "Watch this, this is the dumbest kid in the world."

He then went outside and held out his two hands.

One hand had 50 cents and the other had a dollar. He then asked Bobb...

What do you call a mythical milkshake?

Legendairy

(credits to my friend Edward Feng for this really dumb pun)

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog.

The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that whatever you wish...

Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam.

If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.

The exam was “fill in the blank” and the last question read, “Old MacDonald had a_____.” Bubba was stumped -- he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The first time they took their son to a nude beach

the kid became wide eyed when he noticed all the naked ladies. Then he asked why some ladies' boobs were much larger than some other ladies' boobs. Mom, wanting to give a quick answer, said some women were not very smart but had big boobs to compensate.

Then he noticed how some men had large...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Donut Joke

First time posting, but this is my favorite joke. It takes some acting, and can only be used in certain situations, but I've had rooms of people rolling on the floor.

This joke works best when you are in a group of people all trading jokes. When it comes to your turn, tell the first part:...

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