UPJOKE

Really Awful Jokes

I'm really awful at remembering classic sayings but you know what they say

Practise makes it better

What's really good on pie and really awful on people?

Crust

Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife.

He defends himself by saying "I am not a cook".

Looks like I’m going to need to have the “drug talk” with my son.

Because the pot he sold me was really awful.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four guys and a girl get stranded on an island

Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted island. Since these four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule. Each ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is being interviewed for a government job...

The man interviewing asks, "have you ever been in any wars?"
The man applying says, "yes I was in Iraq"
The other then asks, "were you injured in any way?"
He replies, " yeah I was actually near the site of an explosion and the shrapnel hit me in the groin, I lost both my testicles."
T...

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ...

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