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Mrs. Rosentein is walking her poodle down 5th Avenue, when she ran into her good friend Gladys Goldberg

"Gladys! It's been so long since I've last seen you, where have you been?"

"Oh, Blanche, Ira and I went on safari in Africa, and let me tell you, it was horrible!"

"Horrible? How was it horrible?"

"Well, first, Ira lost our tickets, so we had to fly coach all the way from New Y...

A man goes in to the doctor's office to cancel an appointment.

Lady at the desk tells him that it's a $200 charge for cancelling without one week notice.

Guy asks how much does it cost to reschedule and the lady says it's free.

"Ok so I need to reschedule for two weeks out"

"Is three weeks ok?"

"Perfect"

"Alright, you're set f...

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Frenchman in Morocco

A Frenchman seeking some thrills travels to Morocco and decides to go bungee jumping off the top of mosques. As he bounces back into the air, all of the passerby in Morocco are in awe and one Moroccan passerby decides that he wants to try it himself.

He finds the Frenchman at a nearby cafe a...

A Mullah, a Priest, and a Rabbi go camping ...

A Mullah, a Priest, and a Rabbi go camping. While they're setting up their tents, they see a grizzly bear prowling in the distance.
The Mullah says, "I'm going to convert him to Islam." and walks off towards the bear. After 15 minutes, he comes back and says "I read to him from the Koran. Nothing...

An elderly man had owned his large farm in Louisiana for many years.



Right at the back of the farm there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the farmer decides to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn’t been dow...

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Turtle Picnic

Three turtles named Tom, Dick, and Harry are roommates. One day they decide to go for a picnic on Picnic Hill. So they pack up a picnic basket and set off. It takes them ten days to get there.

As they're setting up the picnic, Tom pulls out a few bottles of beer and asks Dick "did you pack t...

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A Man, an Ostrich, and a Cat, Walk Into a Bar...

The bartender, used to these sorts of jokes, lets it slide. "What'll you have?" he asks the trio.

"I'll have a pint," the man says.
"Just a Coke for me," says the ostrich.
"I'll have a scotch," the cat says. He looks at the man, "so long as you're buying."

"Right," the bartender ...

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A man walks into a bar, followed by an ostrich and a cat...

...he walks to the bar, the ostrich as well, the cat jumps up onto a stool. He asks the bartender, "Can I get a pint of Guinness?", the ostrich speaks up, says "I'll have one too", the cat says "me too, but i'm not paying". Bartender says that'll be $18.90. The man reaches into his pocket, passes a ...

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A boy is being bullied in school [very long]

And the bullies call him and his friends "bitches and bastards". When the boy gets home, he asks his parents what "bitches and bastards are". His dad blushes, and says, "Well, they're just ladies and gentlemen".

Later, his parents are talking, and the boy overhears his dad say "condom". "Dad...

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