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Do not be racist

Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

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There are only two types of people worse than racists

The blacks and the jews

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I think my family is racist

I brought my black girlfriend home to meet them and now my wife and kids won't speak to me.

I never knew laundry could be so racist...

They're always telling you to separate the whites from the coloured???

Look, if we're gonna get full-on racist about where the corona virus came from

we might as well call it the Kung Flu.

I don’t mean to sound racist...

But everyone in the KKK look the same to me.

Dont be racist

Be like me. I like all races even the bad ones

Why did the racist stay up all night?

Because he was afraid of the dark.

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I found this amazing app that let's you find out which of your friends are racists, which ones are sexists and even which ones are just crazy.

It's called 'Facebook'.

Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?

There were too many black holes.

I'm not racist, but...

If I could put an end to any race on the entire planet, I'd get rid of the marathon.

What do you call a gang of racist chickens?

The cluck cluck clan.

What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?

“Wait, you’re getting paid?”

What’s Racist Matthew McConaughey’s catchphrase?

all white all white all white...

What do you call a racist cow and chicken?

The moo clucks klan

Coronavirus has finally made me less racist

Now I also cross the street when a white person approaches me on the sidewalk

The pencil sharpeners at my school are racist.

They have signs next to them that say “No Colored Pencils”.

A racist, a murderer, and a wife beater walk into a bar

The bartender says, "what can I get you officer?"

My wife accused me of being a racist

Because I freaked out when I found out her boyfriend is Black.

Flying the Confederate flag doesn’t make you a racist.

It’s usually the other way around.

If you enjoy nascar than your probably a racist, however, if you hate nascar than you are literally a racist.

Because you hate races

What’s the most racist dessert?

Cake cake cake!

This might be a little racist to say...

..but everyone in the KKK looks the same to me.

Whats a racists favourite type of tree?


What is racist Karen's favorite movie?

Minority Report

Reddit might be a toxic cesspool full of degenerates and racists...

But at least there is free cake.

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I don't have a racist bone in my body, however...

...I do have a single sexist bone.

What do you call a really scary, racist clown?

A big It

What do racist statues and racists have in common in 2020?

Trouble staying erect

My immune system is racist

Every time it finds a foreign body it tries to eliminate it.

Hipsters are like racists

No one admits to being one

So, I asked my German grandfather hoe racist he was, scale of 1 to 10

He said "NEIN!"

I think my family is racist

I've been nervous for weeks, but I finally decided to introduce them to my Spanish girlfriend

My kids refused to talk to her and my wife started crying and told me to pack my things

Why are people that don’t eat yolks racist?

...They always want to separate the whites.

They say 30% of Australians are casual racists

The other 70% are full time

Why did the two racist cops start shooting everywhere?

Because the light was off and the room was black

What do you call a racist white lady?

Ku klux karen.

A good number of my friends are racist.

Precisely zero - and that is a good number.

Why are racists bad at making milkshakes and smoothies?

They don't blend.

What do you call a racist cake shaped like a Soviet assault rifle?

A cake AK.

How many racists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don’t believe in change.

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a racist...

I could quit my job at the NYPD

Did you hear about how birds are becoming more racist?

They formed the Coo Clucks Clan.

I’m so tired of all these racists jokes on Reddit

If you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal

In order to stop accusations of racism, Trump decides to hire a Mexican immigrant

However, he doesn't feel confortable having him as an employee and calls him over in his office.

Juan: "Why you call me, jefe ?"

Trump: "You're fired!"

Juan: "Que ?! Why ?!!"

Trump: "Because....uh... Because you didn't finish high school!"

Juan: "Oh, no pro...

A Trump supporter dies and goes to the pearly gates…

There he sees St Peter and gets excited and walks towards the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, "I want you to know, on the whole you were a good person, that's why you're going in. But we almost had to send you to hell because you voted for Trump."

"What do you mean? Trump is the best pre...

If Americans are supposedly so racist towards Mexicans... come the first word of their national anthem is in Spanish?

Being racist is like saying you don't like red skittles

They may be a different colour but they still taste about the same


Sometimes if I wanna get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with "I'm not racist,
"I'm not racist, but you look great today."

And they say, "that wasn't racist at all."

And I say, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

What do racists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

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Things you can burn for stress relief







Did you hear about the racist chemist?

He joined the Potassium Potassium Potassium

What do you call a racist ghost in middle earth?

wight supremacist...

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What do you call an Eskimo flying an Aeroplane?

A pilot you fuckin racist twat.

Keeping my eye on you fella...

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I am thankful every day that I live in Canada.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot, you fucking racist!

What do a composer and a racist have in common?

They both use slurs

I’m gonna go ahead and make a racist comment by saying..

I think the 400m relay is a better race than the 100m sprint.

Why don't racist people take photographs in old cameras?

'Cause they appear in black and white.

I’ve suffered from so much racist abuse today, with people yelling at me to “go home” and “go back where you came from.”

It really spoiled my giant get-together with all my friends in the park.

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You may call me a racist.

But I won't tell black people jokes.

I'm not racist, i love all races equally

Black, asian, normal, it doesn't matter

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A sexual predator, a racist and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"

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A corrupt guy, a sex offender, a racist, a compulsive liar, an idiot and a terrible business man all walk into a golf course...

Welcome back Mr. President said the door man.

A racist, a liar and a misogynist walks into a bar

The bartender greeted “Good evening, Mr. President!”

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