UPJOKE

R 1 Jokes

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Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

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MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS OF 100%

What makes life 100%??
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If A B C D E F G ...

Genie joke

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it, only to have a genie appear.

The genie says: "I will grant you three wishes, but there are also 3 rules. Rule number 1: no wishing for death. Rule number 2: no wishing for love. Rule number 3: no wishing to revive the dead".

The man thinks for a se...

The Stuttering Bible Salesman

A man had just accepted his new job as a door-to-door Bible salesman and was introducing himself to his new co-workers.

It quickly became clear that the man had a severe stutter and the other workers began to make fun of him for it. But by the end of the week when the man had sold over 1,000 ...

A mathematician couldn't remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2.

But he knew it was <3.

Let me tell you how I became a millionaire:

First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.

Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.

With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2
dollars each.

Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you m...

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If “going number 1” means “taking a pee”

Number 1 doesn’t mean shit.

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Two plumbers were working on a toilet

Plumber 1: This toilet is empty

Plumber 2: No shit

Does only being able to recycle number 1 and 2 plastics upset anyone else?

I just moved to a new city and they don’t recycle anything above a 2. Is it like this in a lot of places? I hope I can find somewhere to drop off my other plastics.

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