UPJOKE

Quit My Job Jokes

I quit my job as a banker…

I lost interest.

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.

I just handed in my too weak notice.

I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory......

I just couldn’t concentrate.

I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great,

I love being my own boss.

Just quit my job at the helium factory.

I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.

Finally quit my job at the lumber yard

I was so tired of doing all of the work because nobody else wood.

Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting.

I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.

I had to quit my job helping foreign tourists with a place to sleep while they were traveling.

It was a Hostel work environment.

I quit my job after my boss started paying me in vegetables.

I couldn’t live off of that celery.

Had to quit my job at the watch factory.

The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.

I quit my job over religious differences.

My Boss thought he was a God, I didn’t.

I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor the first day at work.

Deep down.., I realized it wasn’t for me.

I quit my job at the furniture shop.

It didn't sit right with me.

had to quit my job at the cat shelter today

They reduced meowers

Why did I quit my job in Mexico?

It didn't peso well.

I had to quit my job as a produce clerk.

The didn't pay me a good celery.

I had to quit my job as a treadmill tester.

I just felt i wasn't getting anywhere!

I just quit my job to focus on prospecting for gold

I'm just waiting to see how things pan out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quit my job as a septic cleaner

I'm done taking shit from people

I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.

I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.

I quit my job as a postman the first day right after they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”

I had to quit my job at the Coca-Cola carbonation factory.

It was just soda pressing.

I just quit my job, I couldn't work for my boss after what he said to me

He told me that I was fired

I quit my job at the high ceiling store after one day.

Everything there went way over my head.

I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines...

...it was just plane boring.

I had to quit my job at the Corps of Engineers.

That job was just one dam thing after another.

I've quit my job at the sewage farm.

Well, I was just going through the motions.

People ask me why I quit my job at the necular power plant

I guess it was the toxic work environment

I successfully quit my job as an animator without making a scene, so I had a party to celebrate...

and everybody brought gifs.

I recently quit my job at a wind farm...

It turns out i'm not a big fan

I never thought my love life would make me quit my job at the apiary.

Then I saw her face....

I quit my job as a paperboy

So if you think I've got news for you, I've got news for you.

I quit my job translating Pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.

It feels like ancient history.

I quit my job at the keyboard factory.

I didn't have enough control and wanted to look for an alt.

After much consideration, I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I don't think I'm strong enough

So today I put in my too-weak notice

I had to quit my job at the Human Centipede laboratory.

I was having trouble making ends meet.

I want to quit my job and start a non-profit organization...

...but my wife insists that it doesn’t sound like a good business decision.

I quit my job at the pillow case factory..

Turns out it was a sham business.

I quit my job as a coffee shop manager

The daily grind was just too much

Sadly, I had to quit my job as a taxi driver...

I just couldn't stand everyone talking behind my back.

I had to quit my job as a butcher.

I backed into the meat grinder and got behind in my work.

Had to quit my job as an underwear model

because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last night, my psychic told me I was going to win the lottery, and quit my job.

This morning, I told my boss to kiss my ass and walked out. I'm halfway there!

I quit my job last year because my boss was an idiot. Now I’m self employed.

My boss is still an idiot.

i'm going to quit my job and open a donut shop that also sells weed

i'll call it 'glazed and confused'.

I hate it when my finger rips through the toilet paper while wiping.

It was at this point I quit my job at the nursing home.

I quit my job and poured years into it

Thanks to this recent Ebola scare, I can't ever release my online bowling game...

My wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits

She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory.


[Courtesy of Sickipedia](http://www.sickipedia.org/crime/animal-cruelty/the-wifes-insisting-i-quit-my-job-because-she-thinks-1671352#ixzz3wm6CrZd5)

I am not saying my ex wife was ugly...

But I had to quit my job, so I didn't have to kiss her goodbye in the morning.

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a racist...

I could quit my job at the NYPD

"Do you have any experience with child care?"

"Yes - I just quit my job at the White House."

I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man

It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother.

I'm tired of people stomping all over my hard work, trampling on it without even noticing.

Maybe I should quit my job at the doormat factory...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to work as a prostitute...

... due to lack of fucks to give I quit my job.

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