UPJOKE

Quick Question Jokes

Quick question

How much no more tears shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?

Quick question.

What's Epistemophobia?

Quick question

Why do models get to be naked but when I do “I can’t do that here” and “ I’m not allowed at Disney world anymore”

Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade?

Gonna need a fast answer for this one...

Quick question

Do clippers games count as sold out if the stadium is three fifths full?

A quarterback was being interviewed only moments before the start of the game. The reporter had 3 quick questions: "Your favorite pizza? Your favorite Star Wars character? Your favorite non-football activity?"

His answers were just as brief:

"Hut, Hutt, Hike!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Plastic surgery

Woman: *comes out from the hospital after plastic surgery looking young*
*later enters the store*
Woman: Hello, quick question.
Cashier: Ok.
Woman: Can you guess how many years I have?
Cashier: uhhh... 29?
Woman: No, I'm 50. See how beautiful I am.
Cashier: Wow!
*later enters...

Blonde dyes her hair brown, because she's tired of all the blonde jokes

this blonde girl dies her hair brown because she's tired of all the jokes she decides to take a ride one day in her convertible. She's got the top down and she's cruising up an Old country road.And comes across this sheep herder. So she stops and pokes her head over the convertible and says excuse m...

My wife gave me a choice...

... watching Titanic with her or washing dishes, cleaning carpets, and cleaning bathroom.

Quick question: which bleach would you recommend?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long NSFW] Oxford professor

An old Oxford professor is nearing retirement and decides that he wants to do something fun for once. He's spent his whole life researching scientific theories in his lab and wants to do something outside for a change, so he asks his assistant for a suggestion of something different to go and resear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Black guy arrives at Heavens Gates...

The man is worried that due to his race, they might discriminate and not let him in. So when he walks up to the pearly gates he decides that at the very least, to better his chances to get in, he can change his name to that of a white person.

"Name?" asks St. Peter

The man searches for...

3 Brand New Cops Are Having Lunch... (Long)

One cop is Italian, one is Israeli, and the third is Polish. The police chief walks up to the new policemen, and goes “Boys, it’s your first day, and I have a quick question for you: who killed Jesus Christ?”

The Italian cop smiles, and goes “Well that’s an easy one, it was the Jewish people!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young couple on their way to their wedding

A young couple on their way to their wedding get into a car crash and die. They both arrive before the pearly gates where they are met by St. Peter. They ask him.

"Is it possible to get married in Heaven?"

"Wait here while I find out" says St. Peter and leaves. The young couple is star...

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