UPJOKE

Questions Asked Jokes

If someone stabs me, I stab them back, no questions asked

The surgeon had some questions though

The ad said, "Answers! $50. No questions asked."

So I handed the guy 50 bucks, he said "no" and walked away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl walks into a "no questions asked" abortion clinic.

The nurse says, "How can I help you?"

Girl says, "LYING BASTARDS!" and leaves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man’s wife left him

Upset, he went for a drive and suddenly ran over a cop and crushed him to death.
Not knowing what else to do, he threw the cop in the trunk and drove to the cemetery.
When he got there, he came across a drunken watchman.
"Listen, if you bury this body with no questions asked, I'l...

An FBI agent tells a Montana rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs.' The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'

The agent verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A final CIA test for three men

An American, a Russian and a Bosnian man get to the final test to be admitted to the CIA. An American enters a room where he sees his wife Jennifer. A voice says: " There is a gun on the table, your last test is to kill your wife, no questions asked." American points the gun, but after a while gives...

Two men go to a convenience store.

One of the men asks for a pack of condoms, and the lady at the counter gives the condoms, no questions asked.

One week later, the same two men enter the same convenience store. The same man asks the same woman for a pack of condoms. He receives the condoms, no questions asked.

Every we...

Broken quiz machine for sale

No questions asked

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