Amazingly, the man that broke into my house is actually a quadruple amputee

...thanks to my bullmastiff.

What do you call a quadruple amputee waiting by your door?

Matt

What to you call the quadruple amputee on your doorstep?

Matt.


What do you call him when he's in the pool?

Bob.


What do you call him when he's nailed to the wall?

Art.


What do you call him if he's in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quadruple amputee is sitting on a beach crying...

A man walks up and asks "Excuse me ma'am, why are you crying?

"I've never been hugged."
He picks her up, hugs her, and walks away.

A while later, another man strolls by. He stops and asks "Im sorry to bother you, but why are you crying?"

"I've never been kissed." she replies....

A quadruple amputee is opening his present on christmas.

He crawls over to the tree and tears in to the wrapping with his teeth. The paper flies everywhere as the present is revealed.

"Not another hat..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quadruple amputee goes to the beach...

A quadruple amputee goes to the beach. A man walks by her and she calls him over. The man asks if he can help her. She says because of her disability, she is not involved in much sexual activity and asks if she can give him a blow job. The man says sure and proceeds to get a blow job. After she is d...

What do you call a quadruple amputee who's a member of organized crime?

The head

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a blind deer?

What do you call a blind deer?

No eye-deer.

What do you call a blind, dickless deer?

No fucking eye-deer.

What do you call a blind, dickless, quadruple amputee deer?

Still no fucking eye-dear.

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