UPJOKE

Pros And Cons Jokes

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch...

But on the other hand, you have a watch.

My friend used to run a website where he discussed the pros and cons of taking different hallucinogenic drugs.

He was the original trip advisor.

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I've been contemplating the pros and cons of masturbation.

On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other, not so much.

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Pros and cons

Pros of dating men: Their dicks.

Cons of dating men: They're dicks.

There are pros and cons to getting married...

On one hand you get to wear a ring, on the other hand, you don't.

Pros and cons of working as the prison librarian.

Pros: prose. Cons: cons.

Investing in an assisted suicide centre has its pros and cons

The service is non-refundable but there are no repeat customers

I want to weigh the pros and cons of becoming a veterinarian,

On one hand you get bitten a lot
And on the other hand you get bitten less.


This is my first joke submission, I do like a good groaner.

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I was asked to participate in a debate in front of a large crowd of people about the pros and cons of masturbation.

I showed up totally unprepared, as I’ve never been much of a mass debater.

A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St...

I have been weighing the pros and cons about reading poetry to prisoners.

Pros: prose
Cons: cons

I couldn't decide where to retire...

I couldn't decide whether to one day retire in Australia or Thailand so I decided to make a list of pros and cons. Turns out Australia has a lot of cons, and Thailand..

A boxing match is about to start..

A boxing match is about to start.

An ex-criminal steps on the scale and weighs in at 90kg.

Next up.. a professional athlete weighing in at 85kg.

Gotta weigh the pros and cons

Edit but not actually an edit : it's dumb, I'm aware

I’m trying to decide if I should become an athlete or a criminal

So I made a list of pros and cons.

There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.

Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.

I think fights between career boxers and famous criminals would be entertaining. We could even make it fair, with different weight classes and everything.

We just need to weigh the Pros and Cons.

Who would win their weight class in a boxing match, athletes or prisoners?

Not sure, you have to weigh out the pros and cons

A police officer was facing a dilemma.

A handful of individuals were brought into the precinct, each with different amounts of cash and gold stuffed in their pockets. Some were professional heisters, others were just average con artists.

He was asked to distinguish between both groups based on how much they had hidden in their po...

TIL in 1954 the Detroit Red Wings held an exhibition match against inmates at Marquette prison.

The game had its pros and cons.

One day at the bar, the warden of a prison and the manager of a football club get into a argument about football.

The warden mocks the manager’s players. Saying they are pathetic, over-payed babies who collapse whenever there’s a slight breeze. He claims that his inmates, could beat them easily as they are made of sterner stuff.

The manager laughs. The inmates are all criminals, they would cheat or even ...

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I used to live in a place with crazy thin walls.

I used to live in a place with super thin walls, which came with a lot of pros and cons

A big con was that at all times of day, you can hear people have nasty, carnal sex right next to you through the wall.

A pro, however, was that was if you knocked on the wall, and asked very nicely...

I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison.

It's a pros and cons list.

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Three men hear of a wish-granting boulder.

This boulder is rumored to be located at the top of a steep cliff, so the men set out on a rather grueling hike in order to find it. Upon arrival at the very top, they find a natural monolith of sorts, and are greeted by a booming voice.

"Greetings, travelers!" the voice says. "I am the Rock ...

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A woman goes in for a breast augmentation...

A woman goes to her doctor to discuss the pros and cons of a breast augmentation. The doctor is not a huge fan of plastic surgery, favoring a more holistic approach. He tells the woman there are a series of exercises she could try first, in order to firm up and enlarge her breasts.

The woman ...

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