UPJOKE
kabbalahkarmapythagorasjainismafterlifejudaismmetempsychosischristianityorphismhinduismsocratesplatoislamdruzeneoplatonism

I told my wife I had a dream that in a previous life she was Chinese...

... She told me that was impossible because she has never been Wong.

In my previous life, night time would never help me have erection

But morning wood

In a previous life I was a psychoanalyst that turned to prostitution to pay for a rare piece of art.

Don't judge me.

I was Jung and I needed the Monet.

I don't believe in reincarnation

...but I did in my previous life.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never ask an Arab chick for a blow job.

I did once in a previous life.

Bob passes on to the next life and is starting to get bored on his own when good ol Patrick shows up at his grave

After a long introduction Patrick is about to leave "Bob, it's nice to have you join in. I am in the grave next to yours if you need anything"

"Well there actually is something" says Bob "I don't know what I will do now that I am dead"

Patrick: "What did you do in your previous life to...

Three deceased appeared before st. peter in heaven...

Peter asked one of the deceased what he made in his previous life. The soul replied, "$300,000, I was a lawyer." Peter questioned the second deceased with the same question. "$75,000" the second man replied, "I was a salesman." Peter finally asked the third deceased how much he made to which the thi...

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