UPJOKE

Presidential Debate Jokes

Who won the presidential debate last night?

People who didn't watch

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like...

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire.

I missed the Vice Presidential debate...

Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about?

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

SNL does great parodies of presidential debates.

For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though

The Presidential Debate

We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching a presidential debate with a friend.

Republican: I am going to smoke crack and burn down all the houses in your hometown.

Democrat: I will also burn down all the houses in that same town, but I will smoking meth, not crack.

Third party rep: I don’t do drugs and disavow arson.

Me to my friend: “I think I’m going to ...

What's missing from tonight's presidential debate?

The laugh track.

2020 presidential debate

Actually nvm jokes are supposed to be funny not sad

What's the difference between an argument in kindergarten and the presidential debate?

About 70 years

So i watched the presidential debate...

And I think we are the joke here.

You think the Presidential debate was hard to watch?

Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters.

I was asked if I saw the presidential debate.

I told them "No. I was too busy watching the circus."

Who lost the American Presidential Debate?

America.

Donald and Hillary walk into a presidential debate.

And America walks out

I watched the US Presidential Debate last night, but I don't know if it was worth it

If I wanted to watch two old men fighting and screaming at each other, I would have just gone to bingo night at the local nursing home‬.

Watching the first presidential debate was like watching two people who shouldn’t play with legos argue

One acted like he was under 4 years old and the other acted like he was over 99!

So the presidential debate is tonight.

Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast.

I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave...

I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time.

The first US presidential debate will last for about 90 minutes.

Alternatively, that's about six coughing fits long for the Democrats or the time it takes to completely offend equal number of minority demographics for the Republicans.

I was surprised while watching the presidential debate last night...

I didn't know my TV had the comedy channel.

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

A bipolar patient, dementia patient, and narcissist walk into a club.

And the announcer says “Welcome to the first 2020 presidential debate.”

While sitting on the couch my wife said "I feel like putting on a pair of flip-flops."

Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate.

I hate this show.

It’s so poorly written. They introduce so many new characters, it’s impossible to keep track. And it seems like some of them hardly do anything, they just hang around and say, like, five lines per episode.

What’s it called? Hang on, let me check.

“Presidential debate.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a man named Juan...

Juan was the most charismatic person around, and because of this he made a brilliant teacher. All of his students loved him, and Juan had helped their grades go up by at least 10%. So of course, when the principal at the time resigned Juan's pupils pushed him to become the next principal and so he d...

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