UPJOKE

Positive Thoughts Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poem about positive thoughts

Little little bird in the sky

You look up it shits in your eye

You don’t weep you don’t cry

You thank god that cows don’t fly

Sending Positive Thoughts...

... is apparently the wrong card to get someone awaiting HIV test results.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl with a nasal voice walks into a speech therapist's office to get herself "cured."

After going through the therapy, she starts getting hit on by guys who earlier bullied her. She starts having positive thoughts and dreams again. One day she dreams of having sex with her hot Biology teacher. The next day she stays in for office hours and ends up fucking him.

She starts getti...

Me: Nothing’s going well in my life.

Friend: Think positive thoughts! You”ll feel better.

Me: | Nothing’s going well in my life. |

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