UPJOKE
lollipoppopsiclelollylensesorangehomemadecreamchipsboxeatingmakebuyfrozensellingbought

Why can't astronauts eat popsicles?

In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck.

A son was arguing with his dad, insisting that 1+1 equals 11

The father then looked at his son's eyes and said:

-Right, then go and buy 2 popsicles!

His son then goes and buys 2 popsicles.

Then, his dad said:

-Now give me one and the other to your brother!

Son asks:

-What about mine?

Father answers:

-You...

The boss comes into work carrying a thermos...

His blonde secretary had never seen one before.

"What's that thing?" she asks.

"Oh, this?" he says, "It's just my thermos. It keeps my hot things hot and my cold things cold. Damn convenient."

"Oh wow, that DOES sound convenient!" she exclaims, "I might have to get myself one of...

Made this one up at work today.

There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.

His name was Popsicles.

A blond goes to Target

A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

'Wow, sai...

What do you call a Greek who loves candy?

Popsicles

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A blonde is on her first day at her first job...

...and the lunch break rolls around. The blonde joins her team at a table and pulls out a big thermos. The other employees think this is a little bit odd so they ask her about it.

"I heard about these thermoses and I thought it would be a good way to bring my lunch to work - they keep hot thi...

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A ramdom girl is giving me a blowjob and i'm melting

Seriously i'm melting.Someone please bring me back to the freezer with other popsicles or i'm gonna die

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What did Edward say after taking Bella's tampon out of the freezer?

"Yay, I love popsicles!"

Little Johnny's first day in kindergarten

Little Johnny is sitting in his kindergarten class when the teacher asks the following question: "There are three birds sitting on a fence, and a hunter shoots one of the birds. How many are left?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "There are zero birds left. One was shot, and the othe...

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Apparently my coworker has lived a very sheltered life.

He comes up to me while I'm eating lunch and asks "Say, what is that you're eating out of??"

"What, my thermos?"

"Yeah! How does that work?"

"Uhh, it keeps the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold."

"Wow! I oughta get me one of those!" And he just walks away.

I di...

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The devil was feeling generous one day

So he decided to give three guys a chance to leave hell and make it to heaven.

"See that ladder over there?" he asked them, pointing to an ornate golden ladder reaching up out of the flames and into white fluffy clouds beyond.

"If you can make it to the top without laughing, I'll let h...

A math teacher begs a simple question..

"There are three birds sitting on a branch... If you shoot one of them with a rifle. How many birds would be left?" Asks the teacher.

Johnny, considering himself quite the intelligent one, offers his answer: "well, ms.teacher... If you shoot a bird with a rifle... The loud gunfire would s...

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