UPJOKE

Poor Kid Jokes

Poor kid...:(

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

"Poor Kid"

A couple is due to have a child. The day finally comes and the wife has the child but it comes out with just a head. The couple are a little let down by it, but they are determined to give that head the best life it could live. They give it all its shots, feed it, and nurture it. The head comes u...

Poor kid

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared”
Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house.

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious ...

A rich kid sees a poor kid kicking a can down the road

The rich kid says "Hey, you, what're you doing?"

The poor kid says "Moving."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pete writes a letter to Santa the day before Christmas. It says: "Dear Santa, please be so kind and give me 100$, I was a good kid this year and we are very poor".

He posts it and waits patiently. The next day one of tha mailmen opens it and reads the letter. He feels really sorry for the kid knowing he won't get the money.

The postman talks to other colleagues and they feel sorry for the poor kid too. They manage to assemble 50$ only. Although it's not...

You hear about the Italian kid born without any arms?

Poor kid never learned to talk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the baby born with no eyelids?

They used the skin they removed from his foreskin to make eyelids for him. Poor kid is cock-eyed because of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The children in Africa

When I was young and I wouldn’t eat my food, my mom would always tell me to think about the children in Africa and how they’re starving.

Being a good and impressionable kid, I really took her words to heart and made it an objective of mine to help these poor kids. Today I work as a volunteer...

Two detective bees are chatting around the hive water cooler...

Detective Bee 1: So, what happened with that poor kid that got mugged this morning?

Detective Bee 2: Eh, victim’s pretty rattled. Can’t even tell me if it was two bees or not two bees.

A poor farmer who lived in a small mining town came to its mayor and asked him if his son could marry his daughter.

The mayor angry at this insolent request, asked: "Why would I ever let your miserable kid marry my princess daughter?" which the farmer promptly replied: "Because he is the new general manager of the mines". The mayor, surprised and impressed with this information, ended up accepting his daughter's ...

A kid has a pear-shaped head

The poor kid is feeling down because everyone at school teases him about his pear-shaped head. One day he can no longer take the teasing and says to the kids teasing him, "I can't help having a pear-shaped head, my mom ate a pear when she was pregnant with me."
"That's not how it works," one of t...

An old man takes his grandson to the park...

In a small town in Scotland, an old man took his young grandson to the park. They see a large slide, and the man tells his grandson to go slide down it.
"How, Grandpa?" Asked the kid.
The old man, wearing a traditional kilt, was hesitant to demonstrate how to slide. But he looked around and ...

(Dark humor) Don't drink and drive

John Baker was 17 and hot headed. An underage drinkers and a hardcore partier, his parents were always furious with him for this. They tried keeping him from going out, but nothing seemed to work. The last straw was when John got caught driving drunk. The car was a wreck, and John was in even worse ...

My friend told me to save my money for the orphanage every time i want to buy a cigarette...

So i saved 300$ to buy cigarettes for these poor kids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The White Knight and the Black Knight.

Note, this story was from Gigi Proietti, an Italian comedian who's from Rome, and I must say it loses a lot without the Roman accent and slang, but I'll try my best :D

The White Knight and the Black Knight.

So once there was this teacher, really passionate about his job, who always wan...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The boy with the wooden eye.

There was a poor kid in Highschool who only had one eye. He couldn't afford a glass eye so he had one made out of wood. The wooden eye looked terrible and he was very self-conscious about it.

Despite his appearance he always tried to score a date with the hottest girls in school. One day in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tale of Kevin Bopper

Back in high school there was this kid named Kevin Bopper. He was... strange, to say the least. He was that quiet kid with long, greasy, dandruff-ridden hair, a face full of acne, and wore a leather jacket- you know the type. The thing that made him stand out, however, was his weird fixation on traf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My kid's bunny was hit by a car. (long)

My kid's bunny escaped when we left the door open and ran into the street. It was struck by a car and died. My poor kid was inconsolable when a man stopped his vehicle and jumped out.

"I can save it." he declared.

I thought he was a vet but all he did was pull out a bottle from his ...

Quality Control.

Vice Executive: We really should stop testing our products on children?


Senior Executive: If we didn't test our products on these poor kids, how would we truly know if they are fit for purpose, it's just quality control.


Vice Executive: But Sir, we manufacture landmines!.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professor of postmodernist textual deconstructionism doesn't want to cook dinner...

A professor of postmodernist textual deconstructionism doesn't want to cook dinner, so he dashes off an e-mail to his wife telling her to get a pizza.

When he gets home, he finds one of his students hogtied on his dinner table. There's an apple in his mouth, and his wife is absolutely *railin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state…

I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state. It marketed itself as a tavern, to get tourists to come in and buy a bite to eat, but the locals knew it by the name of the former owner, Pete.

Pete had died a few years before I started working there. His younger broth...

An instructor was teaching a young man how to swordfight.

The young man wasn't terribly good, but he had a rather high opinion of his abilities. In a practice duel with the instructor, he was continually waving his sword about arrogantly, in wide strokes, and often leaving himself wide open to attack.

The instructor thought "he won't last five minut...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage...

...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pet Rabbit

One day I came home to find my dog burying something under the steps of my front porch. Upon closer inspection, it was the neighbor's family pet rabbit. I felt terrible.

Since it was only a little covered in dirt and the dog had not torn it up noticeably, I decided to make it as presentable a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, a guy walks around and happens upon an enormous pile of...

...manure. Just yuuuge. And as he was about to walk around, he spots a little girl. About six or seven, with a shovel firmly in her hands, determined and serious look on her face, a little bow on her hair, poor kid's dirty and smelly, and standing off on one side of the pile and digging. Zealously. ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.