UPJOKE
pleasepleasinglygratefulgratifyingratiatedelightcomplacencecomplacentsmugdelightfulpleasantlywinnegratificationpleasantfain

What do you call a lotion that sucks at its job?

A DissapOINTMENT. Plz laugh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

( Nsfw )i am iraqi and ill translate a joke my brother told me plz dont mind the bad grammer

A guy who lives in the countryside one day went to the city and he saw how diffrent things are there
In the city he meet some people and one of them told him about blow jobs and how it happens
So after he went back he told his wife to feed the kids
She did
He told her to make the kid...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am desperate, need advice plz

My wife has been behaving quite strange for some time now.
Whenever she gets a phone call in my presence, she suddenly becomes quiet, leaves the room and begins to mumble.
If she gets a text message she deletes the message immediately and i can not read it at all. When i once wanted to check t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That one was a violation!

Him: Hey, girl ... I want to get into your pants!

(\*looks at his friends thinking he has done something great\*)

Her: Sorry I already have one asshole in my pants

(\*PS: plz don't hate me ... I do not have a good sense of humour \*)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can I make it appear big?

Plz Bare my grammatical errors, first time posting here and it's translated from Hindi


Akbar: birbal I think I have small dick how can I make it appear big?

Birbal: my lord shave you pubic hair, it tends to appear big and girls like it more that way.

So Akbar shaves his ball...

Did You Know that Diareah Problems are Hereditary

It Runs In your Jeans

(Plz excuse any spelling errors if I made some. English is my first language Im just Dumb)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a bee's ghost?

a BOO-bee

Hahaha.. like .. boobie.
Plz don't hurt me. I know it's bad

A guy wanted to buy cigarettes , they gave him a box of cigarettes that said:"smoking causes impotence"

He looked at the cashier and said : "plz , give me the one that causes cancer"

Person 1:Guys we have to be careful, one of us is possessed by a owl.

Person 2: Who?

Person 1: That’s the thing we don’t kn...

(Not my joke so plz don’t hate me i saw this joke a long time ago)

How many HK protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick Question: They can't change anything.

Jk dont take this seriously plz

What does Elecric Guitar And A Wife Have In Common?

You Pull One String They Make A Loud Sound

That Will Make You Lose Custody Of The Kids

Plz Karen

Husband sent a text to wife at night

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She ...

My friend went to mime school...

Haven't heard from him since.

HAHAHALOLOLOO SO FUNNY SOMEONE PLZ KILL ME

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dida

3 adventurers while on safari were caught by tribals. The chief came to the tent they were held in and gave them 2 options. Death or Dida.

The 1st adventurer choose Dida, as anything is better than Death. The tribals took him away. After 1 hour, they carried him out to nearest town. When he p...

Three Swedish men visited Copenhagen and decided to go to a Saloon...

They knocked on the door and the Madame opened. "What do you want?"
"We want to come in. We are Swedish."
"How much money are you willing to spend here?"
"We have altogether 250 crones."
"250 crones! For that price you can screw each other!"
After saying this the Madame slammed...

A man arrives at the hospital...

A man arrives at the hospital after his wife just gave birth to his son. After waiting for a short period, he sees the Doctor approaching with a "bad news" kinda face.

 


The Doctor says: "Hello sir, I'm afraid I h..."
-"What?! Is it my wife?! My son?! What happened?!"...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.