UPJOKE
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Anybody wanna be in a platonic relationship?

I'm asking for a friend.

Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time...

but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"

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Platonic

I bought a sex doll that was so realistic, it wanted to remain friends

A priest visits his cousin, who is also a priest.

The two priests, both in their forties, sit down to dinner.

The visiting priest says, "Cousin, I couldn't help noticing that your housekeeper is quite a young and attractive woman. I take it relations between the two of you are not always completely platonic?"

"How dare you! I am a man...

I like you, in a plutonic way.

"Don't you mean 'platonic'?"

No, plutonium, like radioactive exposure, the longer I'm with you the more I feel like dying.

What do you call a group of platonic bulls?

Brovines.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that platonic refers to a relationship without romance or sex.

So it's another word for marriage.

Some people have platonic relationships. Me and my wife have a Socratic one

We argue all the time

A man and a woman who don't know each other are riding on a train.

It is late, and there is only one cabin left, so they agree they'll share it together. "On the condition that you realize this is strictly platonic" says the woman. The man takes the top bunk, the woman the bottom, and soon they are fast asleep. In the middle of the night the woman feels a tap on...

What'll happen if you read too much Plato?

You become Platonic

They say reading is hot. So I started studying philosophy.

Now all of my relationships are platonic.

My Plus One

Platonic friend and I are going to celebrate 5 years of friendship. I approached her and said, “Look, we’ve been hanging out together for 5 years now, and I think it’s time we take this to the next level.” Wide-eyed, she nodded. I looked deep into her eyes, then farted.

Why didn't the octahedron date the tetrahedron?

They were platonic solids

[OC] What’s the difference between a fault line and a robot who just wants to be friends?

What’s the difference between a fault line and a robot who just wants to be friends?

One is a tectonic plate and the other is platonic tech

Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?

Because cubes are platonic solids.

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Why did the cube refused to fuck icosahedron?

Because their relationship was solidly platonic.

Girl, forget chemistry, you and I have solid *geometry*

Because our points are maximally separated, and it’s perfectly platonic.

I thought that that cute geometrician was helping me out because she had a thing for me...

Turns out she was just doing me a platonic solid.

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A lich walks into a tavern

The whole place fell silent. The customers have heard tales of their existence, but most have never seen a lich before. The lich plops himself down at the bar counter, a few seats away from a human warrior and his busty mage companion. They exchanged looks.

"Whoa," the mage whispered. "It's a...

Brian's roommate and the gravy ladle

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate Jennifer was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
...

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