Man: Doc, my cat has some 'stuff' coming out of 'back there' (waves hand over cat's rear end).
Vet: You mean the purulent discharge from your cat's vulva?
Man: Doc, I don't know those words. You gotta put it to me non-fancy terms, gimme the plain English.
Vet: What we have here...
I told my doctor that I was unable to do all the things around the house that I used to do.
The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but found nothing wrong with me. When the examination was completed, I said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me" "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just very lazy." "Okay," I said , "Now give...